Edging Back In
by slekwati
Summary: What would you do to gain back trust? One girls trial at gaining back what she lost after being falsely accused. Spike/OC.
1. Jack's help

**Edging Back In.**

_A/N: This is my second fan fiction. I've always like Spike/OC relationships. So sorry if it's really bad! Only your reviews can better me! If u have any ideas or challenges, I'm welcome! Also, u can help me with spelling and grammar! I like writing, I'm just really bad at it!_

_Disclaimer: If any of the Angel/Buffy characters belonged to me, I wouldn't be writing really bad fan-fiction. A spin-off would be on the way. But they doesn't. Maybe someone should contact Joss for me..._

_Relationship details: Spike/OC. Sorry, but like I said, big fan!_

"Jack Daniel's bottle," I ordered, putting money on the table.

Michael's face showed shock, "You had a bad day?"

"Understatement of the century. Jack Daniel's," I snapped, waiting for Michael to give me an over priced bottle.

"Put the bottle back," growled a familiar voice.

Michael looked from me to the brown haired vampire behind me, "Ignore him. Give me the bottle."

"Ignore me and you'll feel the blood pouring from places in your body you never knew you had."

Gulping, Michael's face turned pale and pasty. He turned on his heel and put the bottle on the bar, making an apologetic face annd handing me over 20. I raised my eyebrows and he put another 20 on the table. I let him off with the other 30 'cause of the trouble.

"You never drink," Angel said sitting down beside me.

"What I do in my private time doesn't concern you," I hissed, rolling up my money and shoving it in my pocket while I pushed past a group of vamps. He followed me out.

"Does if your planing to drink yourself to an oblivion, and probably get drunk yourself by a vamp.

"What do you care? You lo couldn't wait to see the back of me in that office, and you know it-"

"Is that what you think?"

"Of course that's what I think! First you guys were fine with me! Then... when... when _she_ came along-"

"You're blaming this all on Nina?"

"Who the hell else? She's evil Angel! As soon as she waltzed in, she saw me as a threat and tried to get rid of me. In more ways than one-"

"What's that meant to mean?"

I stopped storming off for a minute and took a look at Angel before unbuttoning my shirt slightly and showing him a scar above my left breast.

"That's what I meant to mean. And you wondered why I wasn't at work a month back? I was in hospital getting a blood transfusion. She nearly hit an artery."

Angel shook his head, "She wouldn't... she must've wolfed-"

"It was a full moon a week later. Angel, do you honestly think I lay out all those false clues? Do you? 'Cause I was with someone about the time the body was found. Even then, I can't believe that you're blaming me for that-"

"I didn't blame you-"

"You showed evidence and said I couldn't be at the meetings any more. I can't believe I thought you were my friend..." I said, stalking off again. I could feel him staring after me, "And you can tell Spike not to bother visiting tonight. I'll just lock him out until he's ashes."

Asshole. How dare he? I trusted him. I thought we were friends. Possibly dating friends. And that lying bastard. Spike. He promised.


	2. 6 months earlier

**A/N**:Thanks for my reviews UntilNeverDawns and Rainbowimagination! Your encouragement rocks my world!

UntilNeverDawns: Yeah...I'm a bit confused myself... but I can make a few more chapters out of my idea... I hope

Rainbow: Always nice to know that I can intrigue someone...

On with the fiction then...

* * *

**6 months ago...**

Angel sat on the edge of his table, his hands resting beside him firmly.

"Where's Spike?"

Everyone's eyes were on me. It confused me slightly. Wasn't like I was the man's babysitter. All I done was agree to share an office with him. I shrugged, murmured an 'I don't know'.

Gunn crossed his arms, leaned against a wall and watched Angel carefully before asking what we were all thinking,"Why are we all here anyway?"

We were all upset at the loss of Fred from the group, but we had welcomed Illryia with open arms. Sort of. She wasn't the type to talk to us 'lower beings'. So you could guess how surprised I was when she commented on the subject.

"He must think that this is of great importance, if he is willing to waste my time."

Just as Angel was about to reply, the door slammed open and Spike made his usual big entrance.

"Goddammit!" He cursed, dusting himself down before looking around the confused group, he himself equally confused, "What's going on?"

Again, everyone's eyes were on Angel, who stood up and copied Gunn's pose, "I have some news that'll effect us all. We have a new member to the group-"

"Nina?" Wesley asked, his rough English lilt reminding me of one of my trips to the UK.

Angel nodded,"But now she's one of the gang. So I expect no funny business..."

* * *

I sat in front of my laptop, watching the time impatiently for the time to change to something that has more meaning ie. 9pm. Club time!

Having no boyfriend, Saturday was party day, and after the week of heavy slaughtering and reading, I thought I had the right to a few drinks of coke and a dance with the LA's finest men... if they would dance with me that is...

Unfortunatly for me, it was only 7:45, and I had to realise that sheer will power or simple want would not make the time change...

"OH WAIT!! 7:46!! YES!!" Doing my desk victory dance (which consists of a series of rhythmic head banging and arm circling) I heard a small cough from across the room.

"If your gonna be doing that every time the minute changes, tell me now. It's more merciful killing you then letting you embarrass yourself like that."

Embarrassed but my outburst and by Spike witnessing that I mumbled that it seemed appropriate at the time: as it was one minute closer to home time.

"Got a date or something?" He asked, sitting on his desk, swigging a cup of what I could guess could only be 'the red stuff'.

"Nope. Just Club Night. I drink coke, watch couples dance and imagine myself with the guy across the bar. The usual," I shrugged, "What about you?"

"Play on the PlayStation-"

"You own a PlayStation?"

He nodded, giving me a look that said 'are you crazy? Is "Course I do. What else would I do in my spare time?"

Interigued, I perked up in my chair and placed my cheek on my fist, "What games you got?"

He looked up at the ceiling for a while, thinking about the games he had, "Crash, Grand Theft Auto, Silent Hill 1-3 -"

"Wait! Did you just say : Silent Hill?" I waited until he nodded, confused, "I luv Silent Hill!! I only have the fourth installment, but still... it rocks!!"

He got up and walked over to my desk and sat on it, "YOU have a Silent Hill 4?"

I nodded, "It scares the living daylights out of me! If anyone thinks our daily lives and deaths are scary, then they haven't played Silent Hill! You have to let me borrow 1-3!"

"Only if you let me borrow 4..."

"Better idea - I'm so impatient, you can come over to mine tonight with 1-3, and we'll play 'em all."

"Your just saying that 'cause your scared!"

"There's that too... but it'll be fun! I'll bring in a few beers for you - coke of me - and we can just sit and scare ourselves silly!"

He looked at me pensivly for a moment, wondering if it would be a good idea or not. He put on a quizzical face, "What type-a beer?"

"Any you like. It's on me."

He got up, and headed for the door. Before leaving, he glared at me and said, "Jack Daniel's. And it better be the good stuff. None of your cheap tat."

Holding up my hands to show my innocence and agreement, I felt kinda elated. Scare-the-shit-out-of-yourslef night sounded way better then Club night.

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	3. Scaringtheshitoutoryourself Night

**Scare-the-shit-out-of-yourself Night.**

Making pop-corn and having the promised 'real' Jack Daniel's in the cupboard (my Scottish grand-mother would kill me if I chilled _any_ whisky), I put on my PlayStation and waited for the 'goods' and Spike to stagger through the door. Which is easier said then done when your already metally prepared for wetting yourself.

I decided that maybe having a little play on 'The Room' wouldn't hurt while I wait... Althought it will freak me out, being in my appartment alone...maybe the door could lock me in...what would I do then?

A knock on the door brought me to my senses. Sensability was the key... right?

Opening the door, Spike braged through, quite annoyed.

"You just had to live in vamp central right?" he asked, wiping away the dust that had gathered on him.

I placed my hands on my hips and glared at him, "If you're willing to move me to somewhere more fitting, then - HEY I JUST CLEANED UP!!"

Spike looked up at me, halting his cleaning process,"I just got attacked by a gang of vamps, and all your worried about is your carpet?"

"Laminate flooring, _actually, _and yes! All I can worry about is the mess your making! I had my place all nice and clean before you came!"

He looked at me, tilting his head to the left side and crossing his arms over his infamous leather duster ,"You cleaned up for me?"

I knew I would blush, but I remembered my acting skills from high-school and instead relaiated, "Don't flatter yourself. I do clean my house and my things... which is proabably more than you can say for yourself..."

He scowled slightly, giving me the three games so I could read the back of them and walking through to the living room, "I resent that..."

I was engrossed in the story part of the instructions manual of one of the games, a bit too much to look up and answer him, "I bet you do. The drink's in the cupboard. Look for it yourself...and take the pop-corn out the micro-wave to cool off... hope you like it buttered..."

He must have nodded or had given some form of a agreement gesture, because a few moments later he had a cup of whisky, and a big bowl of pop corn in his hand. He placed the cup and bowl on the floor, took off his coat and sat on the edge of the couch and held the remote in his hand, "How we gonna do this then?"

I shrugged, "The beginning?"

He nodded and smiled a bit, "The best place to start."

* * *

It was Spike's turn to play. I was cuddled up on the couch, hugging a pillow towards me. The only way to play Silent Hill was with the curtains drawn and no lights on. So I reached for pop-corn in total darkness, asking Spike what he thought about Nina.

He shrugged, not taking his eyes off the screen, "Haven't talked to her much. But something doesn't feel right about her. I don't know what though."

I nodded in agreement, "Maybe Angel knows...and he's just trying to befriend her so she's easier to take down?"

"Maybe...though I doubt it. She is his girlfriend. Probably just trying to protect her."

I sighed and nodded, taking a swig of my Coke. I cringed as Spike atempted to fight Pyramid Head,"God that's horrible... but I don't know why..."

"That's the whole point of the game. To give you feelings you aren't sure about. And even then, you don't know what the feelings mean..."

I guessed I could understand that... in more ways then one? That I wasn't sure on.


	4. Silent Home 1: Music's Domain

**A/N**To all my reviewers : How much do you guys rock?! I mean seriously! Pat your back you guys! You deserve it!! And read UntilNeverDawn's fan-fictions... they rock! (I shall recommend more when I read some of you guy's ones )

SwiftDragonfly: Neither can I!! I'm really just making it up as I go along, so if you have an idea and would like to PM me, do go ahead!!

UntilNeverDawns: Thanks for reviewing again! And it was a pleasure to praise your fan-fiction!

Flashbacks Covered in Cobwebs: What a cool name! (not that every1 else's name isn't cool... because they are!!) And I can't wait to read your fan-fiction! I feel excited!

And to begin the random writing...again! The song used in the chapter is 'Kids' by Robbie Williams and Kylie Minogue. I don't own the rights to this song or any brands mentioned in this chapter, or any chapter that's gonna come after it. I wish I did though...

**Silent Home 1: Music's Domain**

With Spike simply refusing to give up the remote until he defeated Pyramid Head, I got up and plugged in my iPod, hoping that he would get annoyed, give up and go in one of his huffs when I continue playing and - to have it simply put - kick Pyramid Head's pointy (well, that's what I think anyway!), ass!

Putting it on one of my favourite playlists (which include Maroon 5, KT Tunstall, One-Republic, Aimee Mann, Norah Jones, Paramore- you get the picture), I watched Spike's eyebrow raised reaction as 'Makes me Wonder' came on. I wasn't so sure if it was the song as much as me having to mime along with it, shaking my finger as the line ''cause I don't believe in you anymore, anymore' blasted through the iPod's speaker station, but he set down the remote and laughed, long and loud, throwing his head back in hysterics.

First came the defensive urge to attack him with a pillow - it was my home and I had every right to sing and dance to whatever song I liked. But after catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror, there then came laughter. I _did _look like and idiot. But I also looked like I was having fun. And fun... well, I didn't have alot of that in the months that have come to pass.

"You don't half look daft there, luv," Spike mused, turning back to the game and taking a swig of the whiskey, now from the bottle as the cup was empty.

I giggled slightly, and went to get something from a drawer of long forgotten gadgets.

Spike stared at me, slightly confused as I stood in front of the TV screen, obscuring his view. Hearing the pause sound from the tv screen, I showed him the microphones and game case in my hands.

"Lets see if you can do any better then!"

After Spike's quite amazing rendition of Hoobstanks 'The Reason' (whoever said vampire's can't sing, just obviously hasn't heard Spike belt out any note, at all), he looked at me, a smug smile on his face as the game stated him as a SingStar, and he sat back down on the couch.

"According to this, I can do better!"

I picked up the remote, picked a song and picked up the red mic, "Ain't over yet till I _sing_! And... this one's a duet. So get ready. Your Robbie, I'm Kylie..."

He laughed as the introduction started.

We were having a proper laugh, me pretending to be all sexy, rubbing my hands up and down his body, dancing around him in circles.

"Take a ride on my twelve cylinder symphony. But if you've got other plans-" Spike crooned into the mic, hitting all the notes in the right places.

I swayed my way down his body, hearing him laugh and call me a saucy so'n'so singing,"The purpose of a woman is to love her man!"

Singing the chorus together, Spike started to join in on the sexiness, pulling me towards him and continuing to sing.

I place a hand on his abs, singing my next solo line.

"Come down from the ceiling-"

"I didn't mean to get so high!"

I slid my hands down towards his jeans, knowing that he'll know it's a joke, and I whispered into his ear, making sure the mic was near by though ,"I couldn't do what I wanted to do  
When my lips were dry..."

Spike smiled saucily and rubbed his hand down my side, cupping my breast before rubbing his hand down further,making me shiver slightly. Not many guys have done that to me.And having him do it was both awkward and sexy at the same time,"You can't just up and leave me! I'm a singer in a band!" He murmured into my ear, practically nibbling on my ear lobe. I knew what he was trying to do: see who could be turned on faster. So far, I think he's winning.

I pulled away and shashayed my hips," Well I like drummers baby, you're not my bag!"

We finished the song, landing on the couch in a heap of giggles and chuckles.

"Told ya I could sing better!" Spike laughed, pointing to the screen. He had achieved at least 1,500 points more than me.

I shrugged, "Let you win... plus, you were so totally sexed out there!"

He snorted, turned towards me, a smile on his face"Liar! Was not!"

"Was too! You were so totaly turned on by me!"

He looked at me, a smirk on his face,"Is that right now?"

I nodded, crossing my arms over my chest,pretty proud of myself, "Uh-huh!"

"Well... I wasn't exactly the one who shivered in pleasure now huh?"

I growled, again trying not to blush, "You groped, which was not fair!"

He smiled, "Well... I guess we have an other competition huh? Who gets turned on faster?"

I nodded then raised a finger, "On one condition - It has to be a proper date. You do everything you can to entice the other person. And who ever gets turned on first has to...do the other's cleaning...for a month!"

Smiling, Spike shaked my hand, "Deal."

I got up, shaking Spike's hand back and yawning, "Deal. Now...out of my house. I need to sleep. I hope next Saturday's ok with you..."

He nodded, got up and nodded, "It's fine. Just hope you're mentally prepare..." he replied, a smug smile on his face as he stood on door mat.

I rolled my eyes, gave him his coat and closed the door in his face.

I brushed my teeth, had a shower and got into bed. It wasn't before I started to drift off before I realised I was smiling the whole time.


	5. Conversations with Laney

**AN: **First, a big warm welcome to the new reviewers - CobwebedAngel, youngandrestless15 and Iluvprimark. You have now joined the band of minions! Congrats! Sorry that I took so long you guys! Don't harm me!!

**CobwebedAngel:**I don't want to drive you crazy? THINK AGAIN! MUHAHAHAHA!

**Untillneverdawns:**I woke you up? Is that honestly a good thing?

**SwiftDragonfly:**Yes, I had to add the sexiness! It had to crop up somehow. Everything in my mind has a sexual reference - so therefore I had to include this! And I was thinking of having them make out - but I wanted to kill you all =] ! And thanks - I try to rock as hard as I can ;]

**Iluvprimark:**I sooooooooo miss Primark! *virtual sigh* Thanks! You should really try writing some Spike/OCfan fiction - its the right thing to do!

**youngandrestless15:**Thanks *insert your real name/given nickname as I won't tell everyone who you really are ;]*! Your the first of my non-cyberfriends to review! I guess you told me the links between the two and it does make sense... kinda... And thanks for letting me use the poem (which everyone else shall find out about later on..... hehehe!)

**Conversations with Laney**

* * *

"WAKEY WAKEYEGGS 'N' BAKEY!"

I looked up from the couch I must have fell asleep on, only to stare at Laney, who was holding my black purr-fectcat, Fido the Second. I groaned, having the urge to pull out every last strand of Laney's light brown hair.

She smirked, "Good! You're up at last, Lazy Bones! It's only..." She glanced at the classical roman face clock on my mantle piece, "11:30 am!"

I growled, put out my hands for Fido to leap into and stroked his fur, "Did your evil auntywake you up to hunny? Hmm?"

Rolling her eyes and prancing into the kitchen, Laney shouted back over her shoulder, "That wouldabeen more effective if the thing you were talking to were human, Cadi."

I sat up, rubbing my eyes, "You find a sperm donor who is willing to help me with thebaby making process _and _stay with me after, you tell me and I'll have at him, dear. Otherwise, I have a competition with the undead that needs to get sorted. So tell me - what sexy garments do you guys wear now-a-days hm?"

This sparked her interest as she bounded through to the living room, a handful of cornflakes in her hand from her cravings, "A _date_?"

I laughed, "You missed out on the 'un-dead' bit huh?"

She shrugged, "That was coming later - but a _date_?! You _actually_ have a _date _this Saturday? Who did you meet? What's his name? Aren't the undead evil? Or is he like... a ghost type thing? I'm never gonna have a niece, am I?"

I curled my legs under me, watching Fido jump off my lap and wander through to the kitchen like we are beneath him, "Well - it's not a date per-say. Rather a bet. Which I have to win or I'll be cleaning up the guys dump for a month!"

Laney smirked, her eyes glowing with her fake evilness, the cornflakes making for her mouth one by one, "Care to explain?"

I thought carefully. Then opened my mouth. Where it all tumbled out from, "Last Saturday, I had a friend come over to the house for a drink and a game -"

"Sex games....." Laney chimed melodically. I raised an eye brow and she urged me to continue after proclaiming fake innocence.

"Well...then we started to play Sing Star. And things kinda got...," I squirmed, trying to think of the words that would best describe what happened, "That got outta hand to say at the most."

"So...no action?" She asked, seemingly disappointed.

"Hey! If there was any action at all, I wouldn't even tell you! Discussing such topics with my little sister is and forever shall be unheard of!"

"Oh come on Cadi! It's not like I'm a vir-"

I put my hand up, shocked, "Stop right there Missy! You're _not_?!?"

She laughed, shaking her head and looking at me as if I am a mad woman, "Don't be stupid! Of course not! Now - can we get with the topic at hand?"

I made my fake anger face, "I bet it was that Brad guy, hm? I'll get one of my guys to tear him limb from limb!"

"You have guys?"

I nodded, "At my job, we all lookout for one another. For the most part anyway... But - to get rid of the awkwardness - it was just some sexy dancing and a little jokey groapage- nothing too serious. Then came the accusations of each other being...'turned on' and -"

"Were they right?"

I faked confusion. I had been thinking of that myself on the Sunday morning, where the only reminders of the night prior to that was the empty bottle of Jack Daniel's next to a equally empty glass, and the mike'sfor Sing Star strewn casually on the floor, "For him - yes. Me - no."

She studied me, sceptic, "You're lying. Cadi - do you like this guy?"

I hated her for that. She always knows when I'm lying. She was smart like that - could read people's emotions. Maybe it was because of her psychology course - hey, who knows? All I know is that I didn'tlike or appreciatethe third degree here. But I couldn't lie to her again - she'd pick that up too.

"Maybe. You know... he's just... he's...,"I growled in frustration, finding it hard to find the words to describe him.

Funny?

Smart?

Sensitive?

_Très_ sexy?

Totally out of my league?

Spike?

"He's just... he's different ok?"

She snorted, "The undead part covered that... but...do you think he feels the same? Like... at all?"

I shrugged, "He's...he's playful. Has a new girl everyday. And none of them are serious. Harm - one of his ex's- told me that he still has a thing for a Slayer. I don't know her. But...my boss was with her too - and he doesn't date. Well - he didn't. So she must be someone special..." I tailed off, seemingly jealous of this girl. She must have it all.

"Kinda like yourself huh?" Laney said, letting Fido come back and sit in between us, licking is paw thoroughly, "Cadi... he'd be a fool to miss out on you! And you gotta give him a break - he's undead 'n' all. Brain cells might not work. But you know what I say? I say you go to the ball/date/competition. You dress sexy and wow the guy. And you have fun. If he wants you - it'll happen. If not, well, he's a jerk and I'm sure you have like a ton of ice cream in the freezer for us to eat, and we can sit and bitch about guys and how much they suck. Besides Brad. Brad rocks."

I laughed, got up and kissed Laney's forehead, "Who knew little sisters could rock?"

"I did!"

I laughed more, then went to my bedroom to collect my work clothes, telling Laney that I needed to go to work, but she could stay here till her classes, provided that she would lock up and feed Fido, then hit the showers.


	6. And with competition comes

**AN: **I know what you guys are thinking - new characters? A CAT CALLED FIDO?!? But all will be explained my loves! I'm sorry for not updating in such a long time - but life has been hell and things have been pretty busy around my house/school recently - MY APOLOGIES!!!

**Youngandrestless15:**Teacher's suck like that sometimes... its all in the deal of being involved with children - knowing what they think even before they think it. It's rather worrying. They could harm us - (ie. homework when we reeeaaaalllly can't be bothered!). But I had the Laney character in my orginal write up for Edging Back In (which has maintained it's orininal chapter guys!) and I couldn't help but keep her in this re-write! And just because me and my sisters don't get along, does NOT mean my characters cannot!!! I love them too much to make them suffer - but soon, suffer they shall... wouldn't be a good story without suffering!

**And with competition comes.....**

* * *

I was dressed to impress.

Hair up in a ribbon that can and will be pulled out of my hair in the slow motion shake that will make rom-com film makers proud? - Check.

Beige and black corset straight out of Anastasia's music video for 'Left Outside Alone' only it's really out of Laney's closet and she doesn't know about it? - Check.

My favourite black coloured jeans then elongate my short legs and make my ass seem smaller then it really is, coupled with black heels? - Check.

Make up applied so it remains natural and sexy at the same time? - Check.

Confidence to go out there and be a sex vixen and still have dignity at the same time, possibly win the guy and take him home tonight? - Was in check. But now it's vanished.

Ok. So basically I was kitted out to go clubbing - wearing my usual outfit that made me seem sexy, if I had the confidence completely radiated the 'sexy' message. But as that was not happening, so I instead looked like a geek trying their hardest to get laid for their first time ever. Which wasn't true! Well...it slightly was. But that was an unfair judgement that I cast on myself. Well... unfair to my heart. My head just said that it was the truth - that was how others see me. And my stomach just stays that it reeeeaaaallly needs a big chocolate bar.

A knock at the door stoped me from staring at the mirror. I fixed the star shaped studs into my earlobes, then went to the door. It was a good door. A sturdy and heavy door made of solid oak. I tried to act like whatever was about to play out ment nothing, running my hands down my jeans to straighten out a crease and gave myself a mental and physical shake out - just to wake myself up and get myself ready. And maybe try to get rid off the foolish, teenager-in-love smile off my face.

A quick peek though the peep-hole told me that Spike was wearing his usual black jeans, his usual big and blucky doc's - but he was wearing a blood red open shirt and tight black t-shirt,that clung and flowed in all the right places. I really had to regain my composure before I my ideas of ripping off the shirt and licking his abs got me drooling. Maybe it was the fact that I hadn't had any sex in a long enough time to make me think that my virginity could possibly grow back and that the demons on the 3rd floor might take me for their ritual scarifice to their God's that was making me think that I should just let Spike win and allow him to have his way with me - but at that moment, looking at him through the tiny round glass hole, it seemed like the greatest idea in the world.

"You goin' to open that door anytime soon, luv? Or you just gonna stare at me through the hole in the door?" He seemed indifferent, lighting up his cigarette, but I could see the smug glint in his eyes proving his proudness at discovering I was watching him.

"Well...I'm just making sure that you aint got some secret love potion or anything to make sure you win - competition has to be fair after all," I replied, hoping to sound as indifferent as he looked, leanin against the banister off the stairway that was stupidly situated just outside my apparment.

He stood up straight, arms and legs spread,"Well if you want to come out and raid my panties sweetheart, I can't say I'ld disagree - just no futher then that or I'll have to be oblidged to give you some yellow gloves and show you to my kitchen, luv."

Rolling my eyes, I opened the door,"I wouldn't flatter myself if I were you 'luv', or you'll end up greatly disappointed when you're cleaning up my bed for a month."

He shook his head and smirked, "In that outfit, I wouldn't mind helping you messin' up your bed with you though."

I was hard not to seem flattered by the flirting, my heart was going a mile a minute and my mouth felt suddenly dry. The jokey sexual references were blowing my mind - from the ever funny panty raid to the not so light bed joke - they all seemed to have the same, light headedness enducing, panicky feeling attached to it. Then after looking into his smug blue eyes, I suddenly remember that this is just what I had just though - jokes. It was a competition. And there was no way I was going to lose this one.

"Well I bet I look ten times better without the outfit..."

His eyes raised up his forhead, head tilted a little, nodding in a court appreciation at my own come back, then he straightened up, "Off we go then?"

I smirked playfully, "Would be nice. Panty raid'll have to come later."


	7. Confession

**AN:** Updates have been going so slowly lately - and I must apologise for that. The lack of internet has obstructed my ability to update to you - my dear readers. So in my spare time I'm aiming to update the two - pre-wrote chapters that I have under my left knee this very moment - the two chapters that have traveled with me across contients, the hemisphere and TIME itself to reach your eyes AT THIS PRECISE MOMENT!!! Which is a thank-you to all of loyal fans (maybe not an appreciated one but a thank you all the same).

youngandrestless16: Sexy is kinda self explainatory for Spike. He is THE SEX.

UntilNeverDawns: Kinda....too late for that hmm??

TMNTxMadness: See above. And Spike kinda wrote himself here - its easy to capture his essence - its the fastest part for me to write!

And now.....

**....Comes Confessions**

Either Spike had money and I didn't know it, or his house was in serious need of a good clean. A three date extravaganza was packed into this one night, ith us apparently going to the cinema, then some place to eat and afterwords, a drink at some club.

"maybe we can continue that little dance we were having the other night, love. If i charm you enough, you'll probably end up begging to be in bed with me," he smirked at this, obviously catching my widened eyes before I could look to 'fix somthing' in my purse, "'Course, it'll only be after you've cleaned up the place. Won't have you not doing your duties before your... after hours action..."

I threw my head back against Angel's cars head rest and laughed loud. I didn't know the make, model or date of the car but I knew it looked expensive, went VERY fast while Spike drove it and, when I was brave enough to open my eyes through Spike's reckless driving, had the necissary air bag, so must be Angel's.

"You wish lover boy! You're gonna be doubly disapointed when your making up my bed you wish you had me in now, hm?"

Chuckling slightly, he brushed his pink, pointy tongue over his dazzling white teeth and shifted a bit in the drivers seat, his hands tightening over the steering wheel.

"How'd you know I'm wishing that now, sweetheart?"

Seizing my opportunity, I turned in the seat, bit my bottom lip ever so slighlty and rubbed my right hand up his right thigh slowly, "Call it...a woman's intuition."

Looking down a little but still keeping his eyes on the road, his eyebrows furrowed slightly, "if I didn't know any better, Miss Kirkaldy, I'd say your seducing me."

Turning back round to turn on the radio, I kept silent, and sat back into my seat, hopefully looking cool, calm and collected even though I really wanted to run my hands even higher pn him. If I had let my want show, he'ld've known I that I was turned on since I opened the door.

* * *

Buying tickets to see some movie I haven't even heard about, we got a drink each and a tub of pop-corn to share and sat through the previews in silence.

Spike put his booted feet up against the chair infront of him. We had our pick of seats of practically anywhere in the cinema, as a couple sat near the middle of the aisle and a small group of teens giggling and chucking popcorn from the back right. We sat at the back left, a few seats between Spike and the wall of the screening room.

Stretching his arms out across the back of the seats for comfort, Spike yawned in boredum, "Heard this movie's meant to be pretty crap." Nonchalantlly, he took a sip from his can of coke.

Frowning, I turned slightly and looked up at him from the opening credits, "Then why'd you buy the tickets?"

Eyes still on the screen, he smiled a little, "Why'd you think we're at the back of the cinema, luv?"

My eyes widened and I turned back towards the screen, my cheeks probably bright red as I could feel the heat from them. A few seconds of thought later. I giggled. He was totally hinting at making out! When was the last time I've done that in the cinema?! When was the last time I've done that full stop?

Leaning in closer, his right hand caressed my bare shoulder, then outlined my collarbone. Biting down hard on the inside of my mouth, I tried to seem indifferent, watching the movie carefully, but having nothing go into my mind. He nose rubbed gentaly against my ear, his lips getting closer, almost kissing my ear lobe as he whispered huskily, "What's so funny now, pet?"

I became eerily aware of my surroundings as a familour tickle travelled up my spine. I heard the hushed whisper of the teens talking in the opposite corner, a giggle esaping from their huddle every now and then. The couple up front were gettin cosy, the guy obviously snacking on the womans neck. I almost gasped at the thought of Spike dragging his lips down to my exposed neck, him massaging it tenderly with his tongue -

"N-nothing. Just..." Quick. Think fast. I smirked, "Just... that if you're thinking of making out with me already, doesn't that make me the winner?" Finally Maddy, you've lied adequently enough to save your ass! Can you say 'genious'?

Spike laughed slightly, backing up slightly from my ear, but not enough for me not to feel the tickelish whisper, "I've made out with plenty of people I'm not turned on by, Maddy"

To hide the hurt and confusion, I snorted and called him a whore. did I not turn him on?

Obviously not! You look like a plump, tan leather bean bag that's got dressed up! My logically thinking (yet rather demeaning), grey matter said.

Maybe you think you don't look good... but maybe he thinks you look good! And you never know... maybe he's been turned on from the start! My heart replied.

Oh shut up and put some poppy goodness down you! growled the pits of my abdomen.

Taking a handful of the popcorn, I nibbled on it, Spike returned to his position of sitting back after my insult.

* * *

He was right about the movie. It was crap. But it did give us something to talk about on the car ride to the resturant.

The movie was filled with suggestive flirtation, although that movie that was playing in my mind of me and Spike...well...let's just say, it would deserve more that the 16 rating of that crap they played at the cinema.

Parking after a 20 minute ride from the cinema that would normally take 35 minutes if one were to keep to the speed limit, Spike got out of the drivers side after telling me to stay put, slid round the bonnet of the car and opened the door on my side, offering me his hand out.

Smiling, I put my hand into delicatly into his and let him gentaly help me out of the car, being careful to brush up against him. trying to seem like an almost damsel in distress, I blushed slightly, looking downward, hand still in his, "I-I'm sorry...thank you."

Cooly indifferent as always, but acknowleding the fact that he knows the game I'm playing with a roll of his eyes and a small shake of his head, he closed the door, locked the car with the keys behind me and then ensured that the pleasure was all his before taking my hand in his once again.

My mind reminded me that to the outside world, this looked like a mismatched couple going out for a meal to a small, bohemian looking Italian restaurant. It almost made me smile stupidly and gush.

The red brick-faced interior of the restaurant had a few black and white pictures of stereotypically looking Italian-American 1950's mobster mafia men and kids eating spagetti and steaks - practically a Frankie's and Bennie's rip-off, but with a more modern, sexy and darker feel to it. A great place that says 'we're on a date but there is no pressure what so ever'. And then gave me more to be confused over (not that I'm not confused easily that is.)

Red smiling lips greated us at the maitre de's stand. An average height woman with black bunned hair in her early 30's, welcomed us to Francesco's and offered us a table for two.

"Eh...yeah. Someplace quiet," Spike added, giving my hand (which was still in his!), a small squeeze.

Looking from Spike to me, the woman nodded courtly, took two menu's and led us to a table nearest the back wall and the kitchen, weaving us round several occupied white clothed tables. Two or three couples were scattered around, a large business group were talking busily opposite a table of four women who chatted and laughed amungest themselves.

After letting go of my hand, Spike very gentalmanly pulled out the chair for me and put it back in, then assumed his place opposite mine.

"Please do take your time to look through the menu. I'll send a waiter over to you shortly," with a quick smile, she turned on her heel and left the table, asking some customers of they were ok on her way back to the stand.

This is my time to play the game. Opening the menu, I sat back in my seat, rubbing my heeled foot up and down Spike's leg. Watching him perk up a little and grab the menu himself, I bit back a laugh of triumph.

"Mmm...what to pick....what to pick..." I murmured quietly, one hand carressing my collar bone as Spike did earlier on in the evening, "Everything sounds just so...tasty." Upon the last word, I raised my foot higher up, dragging it back down slowly.

"Mm...I know. Think I'll have the steak. Medium rare-," he looked at me as he closed the leather bound laminated menu, "What about you?"

Playing out the act, I smirked, "Well...there's a lot I...want," I stated in a hopefully sexy voice, "But... I guess that the steak sounds good. Medium well done."

He smirked a little and leaned forward, me copying suit, "So...you like meat...hm?" he murmured in his silky sweet suggestive voice.

Giggling, I nodded, "Mmmmhm... you muat be a big fan of it too."

Raising his eyebrow, he sat back as the waiter arrived and ordered dinner for us both a well as a bottle of the house red.

"I hope you're not planning to get me drunk and take advantage of me now Spike! Unfortunatly for you, I don't drink," I stated, sitting back myself, folded arms.

"Well you are tonight. A small glass of red's good for the heart anyway, I won't let any harm come to you," he replied, "Care to continue playing footsie? Or are we quite done with the obsession with my leg, pet?"

Raising my eyebrow in a mirror image to him, I rolled my eyes and shook my head, "Whishful thinking once again spike? Tut-tut! Would almost think you're...I don't know...'sexed out'?"

The left side of his lip tugged upwards into a smile, "Luv, I haven't even sexed in yet."

* * *

I blame everything that happened afterwards compeletly and absolutely on the wine.

So I ended up drinking two or three glasses of wine - Spike had insisted when our steak arrived that it complimented it perfectly unlike Fanta Orange. So I did take a sip. And he was right - it did go well with the steak, and I did like it - after all one glass wouldn't hurt me. Only another glass followed that one. And then another. The flirting had gained even more of it suggestive undertones. With more drink came more and more involuntry, unthought out words that came blabbing from my mouth.

"So - was I right?" Spike asked as I sipped from my 5th glass.

Gulping the sip, I nodded, feeling more than a little tipsy at this point, "Mmm...God you were so right! When are you ever wrong is what I want to know!" I pointed at him sloppily with my dessert spoon, "You must know a lot! A hell of a lot!" I put the spoonfull of chocolate moose into my mouth.

Chuckling a little, Spike shook his head, "I'm starting to think you're a little drunk now, Mad."

Shrugging, I ate my dessert happily, "So? Ain't this what dates are for? Having fun? Letting go? Going wild?"

Shrugging himself, Spike sat back and played with his vanilla ice-cream, "So, you are having fun?"

I nodded, not looking up from my desert, "Mmhm! The only think that can be more fun right now is watching you clean up my bedroom, Mr!" I giggled a little, "But...I might be the one having to clean up yours if I act on this impusle to kiss your face off right now!"

Dropping his spoon into his liquified ice-cream, he looked up at me with furrowed eyebrows.

Realising what I just said, I bit my lip and looked down, bright red and unsure on what to say, "M-maybe I am a little drunk-"

"Forget it."

Looking up, relieved and hurt, I nodded, "T-Thanks. Just....had a little too much-"

He shook his head, having leaned in a little more closer than when I had my head up before, looking at me carefully, almost searching my eyes for something, "No. I meant forget the bet."

He lifted my chin up more, his face moving in closer to mine, pain-stakingly slowly. I could feel my warm breath bouncing back from his face, his nose pressed softly against mine, his hands cupping my head up towards him.

My mind kept shouting that this wasn't happening. That the forth-coming kiss was a dream and that when I wake up, I'd be getting ready for work - that the whole time since Angel had his meeting about Nancy was all just a little fantasy of mine. That dreams like this never come true. Not for people like me.

But as out lips finally met, I woke up. My heart leapt into my throat. I had kissed guys before, ha sex too, but this kiss was like my wake up call. Even in my drunk state, alarm bells were up and ringing for the first time in a long time. I melted into it, relaxing and placing my hands on his shoulder and back, closing my eyes and feeling my way around his heavenly mouth with my tongue.

He pulled away a few seconds later, "I'm not taking advantage of you....right?"

Still in my dazed state, I was a little confused until the shock soberness brought me wore off. Shaking my head furiously, I replied with an avid no, getting up and fixing myself a little.

"So...your place closer? Or mine?"


	8. Hungover and Elusive

**AN:** Thanks for the wait my darlingest minions! I have planned out 'Eding Back In' up until chapter 20 - so I shall be busy producing the works for you guys - but in the mean time - on with the fiction!

**UntilNeverDawns:** I've been away for a looooooooong time - I know this and am really sorry!! Bu I'm hoping what I have planned makes up for the wait and is worth it!

**..BITCH:** You didn't leave any contact details for me to tell you when the next chapter will be up - so I hope you'll be able to find this OK again! SPIKE portrays Spike well! I struggle to find what to write and say for the rest of the characters - but Spike just writes himself - he has the way of saying what's on everyones mind or what should be on their mind - and I just LOVE that about him!

**youngandrestless16:** Seduced by Spike? Ah...another victim to the sexy vamp now eh? I guess I wanted humor to be throughout it - after all, I'm trying to have Maddy as real to life as possible - and life can be pretttty funny! As you SHOULD know by now restless, I'm the crapest speller alive - but I will get round to fixing it for you - once I've got the time to! Life's pretty hectic right now - so its more of a 'wait and see and hopefully do' situation!

**Hung over and Elusive**

* * *

By the time I was semi-conscious, it was pretty bright outside. The small amount of light that happened to get around the curtains was killing my eyes, even though I had them shut tight. A dull thud was pounding in my ears, resonating around my head, which felt like it was about to implode on itself. And all I could keep thinking about was trying to figure out what the large, furry, disgusting taste in my mouth was, and how I got this ill anyway. That was until I remembered that it was actually a self inflicted 'illness' and the large furry thing in my mouth was actually my tongue.

Holding my head and pulling myself up

in the bed was a huge struggle. I just wanted to curl up into a small ball and die. A small, naked ball. Well…let's be honest. A rather plump, naked ball. But it's still the word naked that stood out to me. I was naked. But I was also alone.

Pulling the covers up closer around me, I sighed, only to wince and hold my head immediately after. I had just been a booty call. A 'wham, bam, thank you ma'm!'. How was I going to turn up at the office tomorrow and act like nothing happened? Forget the office, how was I going to get through the day with this killer headache and no Ben and Jerry's cookie dough ice-cream? Pouting, I lay back down and pulled the covers over my head, making a cocoon for myself. Fido would have to starve until Laney comes back later on tonight for a while. I was not getting out of bed until then.

A small yelp and scratch at the door brought me away from my thoughts.

"Not now Fido. Mommy's having a bad day," I murmured, pulling the covers tighter around me.

The scratching turned into hissing and I could imagine Fido looking at the door in his way and telling me to get a grip of myself, to get up and feed him, and maybe get a painkiller while I'm at it.

"Shut up, ya daft cat. She's sleeping. I'm not gonna stand on your tail again so you can just go and eat your bloody food."

Frowning, I sat up, immediately regretting it through the consequences, "S-Spike? Is that you?" I asked hoarsely, coughing slightly to get the roughness away in my voice.

The bedroom door opened and Spike's platinum blonde head poked round the door, "One and only. Didn't wake you up did I?"

Shaking my head, I held the covers over me, hiding all my vital areas and keeping me warm, "No…been awake-ish for a bit. What time's it?"

Closing the door after letting himself and Fido inside, Spike edged round the lighted area of the floor to close the curtains properly, while Fido took his defensive place on my lap, "Last time I checked it was 25 to 12. And that was around a half hour ago. So say around 12. You'll be hungry." He sat down on the edge of the bed.

Patting Fido's head, I shook mine for a second, "Not with the stomach I've got this morning. Remind me never to drink again. Uggh."

Laughing slightly, Spike nodded, "I'll try. But it was you that 'only wanted to try another glass'."

Faking shock, I dropped my jaw, "And it was you that made me try it in the first place!"

Raising his hands, he shrugged, "Ok. Fair goes. You win. This time anyway," He smiled as I rolled my eyes, "So…who's the fur ball on your lap then? Found it in your kitchen this morning. Or rather my foot did."

Frowning again, I continued patting Fido, "The 'fur ball's my pet cat. He's called Fido. Or really Fido II, but still."

Frowning himself, Spike looked confused, "Fido…..the second. Ain't that a name for a fish?"

"I had a gold fish a few years ago when I moved here. It was called Fido and I'd feed it everyday. So I kept him in the kitchen and one day I went to work and must've kept the window open 'cause a stray cat got in and ate him. And you know what animals are like -"

"Once you feed 'em, they come back for more?"

Nodding, I sighed a little, "Exactly. So I started to feed and clean and take care of him. Guess he got attached. Called him Fido 'cause I like to think he has a bit of Fido in him," I frowned at the look on Spike's face, "Hey! Don't look at me like that! I'm not crazy!"

"Maybe you are. Just a little bit. But in a good way," he added quickly, once I pouted, "Maybe I'm a little bit more crazy then you are. I mean, I had that bet in the bag before I called it off now, didn't I?"

Blushing, I looked down, "Now, you kissed me first! Maybe I was just trying to reel you in!"

"But were you?"

"That's not the point-" he chuckled, "-the point is…why did you call it off?"

Shifting slightly up the bed and looking at the curtains, he looked thoughtful. Serious. I really wanted to nuzzle into him, pull him under the covers and fall asleep in a safe, secure slumber, "'Cause…you'd turned me on the moment you opened that door last night."

Smiling, I moved over and kissed him quickly on the lips, "That…was pretty sweet. Thank you."

Smiling back, Spike moved to place his hands over mine, but instead got hissed at by Fido, "You're welcome. God your cat hates me!"

Sighing contently and lying back down in my nice, warm bed, I pulled the covers up under my chin. Fido slinked off of the bed and waited by the door, willing one of us to open it so he can go hunt down his bowl of Felix in the kitchen, "I would if you stood on my tail."

Spike smirked slightly and raised his eyebrow, cocking his head to the right. I rolled my eyes, not helping but to smile back. My mind had an overload of thoughts. Maybe this was the point where it would all start? Maybe this was the point where we could say to family and friends 'so we started to date'? Maybe this was the point where we would say to each other in years to come 'do you remember when we mad it official?'

He got up, stretched his arms back slightly and opened the door, allowing Fido to escape for his meal, "I'll bring you some painkillers, love. Just you try to sleep it off."

Moving to lie on my side, I obeyed, pulling my cocoon tighter around myself. Drifting off to sleep, the sweet memories of the past night filled my dreams.

* * *

"..-addy! You've been asleep long enough! Wake up and see your sis!"

"If I see her will she disappear after?"

If HE's seen her has HE disappeared after?

"Most definitely not!" Came her perky squeal.

I huffed and pulled the covers off from my head, sighing. On the bedside table lay a glass of water and two ibuprofen. Laney sat smugly at me side, her brown locks framing her apple shaped face. A piece of paper was clutched tightly in her hand, "Well? How was he?"

Laney was a natural beauty. A sleek and slender size 8, with a killer smile, doe like brown eyes and a little button like nose, she definitely took after mom's side of the family. I and my two brothers on the other hand, definitely took my father's black hair, slower metabolism and…less than average looks.

Sitting up a little bit more, I took a sip of the water, wincing at the taste of my mouth and threw back the two tablets, wishing there were another 15 to go with them, "How was who?"

Raising her eyebrow, Laney smiled smugly, "Maddy. You're naked in bed, have probably been sleeping all day and practically have the words 'I've just had aw-sum sex!' seeping through your pores! Come on! I'm your sister! Your meant to tell me this stuff!"

Feeling around under the covers for my knickers, I felt my face get warm. I'm and easy blusher and extremely clumsy, which is not a good combination, "It's actually my sworn duty never to expose you to such things - if I wasn't naked, would it be as obvious that I've just had sex?"

Smirking victoriously and getting up, Laney made to walk out of the room, "You obviously didn't hear the last few sentences I made before!" Flinging the piece of paper behind her, Laney swept into the living room, waiting for me to get dressed so she could devour more gossip and cereals.

Sighing, I got up and pulled on a t-shirt and some jogging pants I definitely didn't use for jogging, without even bothering to make up my bed, have a shower, comb my hair or put on a bra. It was only Laney. Who needs to dress up for family? Pulling on some thick men's sport socks I stole from my twin brother Chris, I picked up the paper Laney threw to the ground and made to pad through into the kitchen to put in the bin, until I read Spike's name. Unscrunching the Wolfram and Hart official office paper 'from the desk of Wesley Wyndam-Pryce' note (asking for my haste on some translation), I poured my eyes over the page:

Maddy,

Got a call from Peaches - needs my help. Again.

Would've kissed you goodbye but you looked like an Angel.

Fed the cat.  
Take your painkillers and get some sleep, love

You'll need it after what we were up to last night.

You owe me one goodnight kiss

Spike.

I couldn't help but to smile. Biting my lip, I kept the note with me as I waltzed through into the living room the doppy, teen in love smile plastered on my face. I fell back into my cushy couch, pulling one of my cushions onto my lap, Laney looking slightly freaked out, but happy herself.

"Well?"

Biting my lip, I closed my eyes and nodded slightly. There's a 5 year age difference between me and Laney, but since our move from new York, we'd been more life best friends than sisters, knowing that our mom and brothers were over the other side of the continent while dad stayed here with his new wife, "It was friggin' awww-sum! No details, but wow!"

Moving to kneel and sit on her feet, Laney's eyes widened as she pulled a pillow onto her knee, "So…was it just sex…or…"

"Kinda….kinda both. First it was just sex…but by the third time it was…." I shook my head, unknowing on what to say, melting back into the couch as memories resurfaced in my mind.

"Three time?! Gosh Maddy! You have stamina!"

Throwing a pillow at her, my jaw dropped as she giggled and squealed playfully, "Dirty, dirty, dirty girl! It's s'not like that! It's more like…like…like we're getting kinda serious now, you know?"

Nodding knowingly and wisely, Laney pucked her lips, "Elusive."

Frowning, I looked at Laney, my eyebrows furrowed in confusion, "What?!"

She sighed, shaking her head, as if she needed to explain one of her psychological terms to me yet again, "Elusive is when two people are only going to date one another. Like me and Gary."

I raised my eyebrow and waited for her to finish her explanation and example, watching her look proud before I crushed her little fantasy world, "Uh…dip-shit? I think you mean 'exclusive' ."

Her neatly and slightly over plucked (in my opinion) eyebrows furrowed, "Pardon?"

"'Exclusive' is when two people decide they are only going to date each other. 'Elusive' means rarely seen or heard of. Rather like your intelligence hey sis?"

Reddening, Laney pouted and crossed her arms in a huff while I had myself a good laugh.


	9. Nina's State of Mind

**Nina's State of Mind**

* * *

Crossing off yet another circled date on her calendar, Nina sighed. Another circled day meant yet another day of fur flying, cage rattling, waking up naked and having to lie to your sister. Well, didn't she have an eventful day ahead? Simply magic.

Was this how it was going to be for her? Forever having Angel hide her away in the Wolfram and Hart dungeon? Not that she had a problem with Angel locking her up - oh no! That was one of the highlights to the event. But it had always meant that he would have to watch her turn feral - not a good way to start a relationship. "Hey Hunny! Must be that time of the month again! Let's get you chained up then, huh?"

That is, if what they had can be called a relationship.

There was definite flirting. Awkward though it was - it was flirting all the same, It still definitely counted. it had to count. She tapped his arm enough for it to be flirting.

And then there was the look. Oh God - the look. That intense, brooding, thoughtful, sexy look that made her swoon. God- the look.

Sexual tension aside - and that was thick enough for a knife to get stuck in - they were able to talk seriously. Their demons gave them an advantage - a constant conversation starter. So their talks may sound like an AA meeting - 'Sat outside the playground on the way home from Art College. Couldn't help but to think how good those people looked.'- but they were emotional - personal. And most important of all - it showed how comfortable they were together.

There had to be a way to cure themselves though. It had to be possible. If demons were real - and she found out the hard way - and the whole magical supernatural stuff exists, then there had to be a way to make someone human again. He did explain that prophecy to her. That one that sounded like a sneeze....She laughed. When he had said it to her, she said 'bless you' out of habit - and they had both laughed. God she loved his laugh. So deep and sexy-

But that sneezy thing could work for him. Make him human. Maybe there was one for her. maybe it wasn't her destiny to get normal again - but her choice.

Sitting down on her bed, she felt a slight sense of hope. She could choose to control her beast - to make herself who she was. Instead of fearing the moon, she could embrace it again. She could look at her niece again without wondering what her flesh would taste like. She could go out with Angel like any other girl could. Without the thought of a curse or that damned moon overhead.

Where could she find something like this though? There were, of course, those pschysos who think that magic is real and not really know it's full ectnt. Then there are the disbelievers - the sceptics and 'logical thinkers'. Those were easy to pull apart from the rest of the group - the ones like her and the gang at Wolfram and Hart. The ones that knew this from first experience. How can she tell the first bunch from the last though? And where could she find a new group of people who were rationally thinking, but know her situation?

Nina leaped from her bed, an idea raging in her mind.

* * *

Mr Alastair Miller sat back in his seat, amazed. These...'higher powers' were right. She had walked straight into their trap- well... to be completely honest - it was his own trap. He had - after all - asked these leches for help and it didn't come cheap. he tried to explain what values he ad to the company, but it had fallen on deaf ears. They were not in desperate need of his services - others would be willing to supply them. And even if they were, they had the means to obtain them. Miller didn't want to find out these 'means'.

Agreeing to work with them was the best idea he ever had - he would be able to get the werewolf, the money, and maybe even start up a Little trouble that would additionally line his pockets. Yes... he could see it now. So many people hates this company...he could provide the information to destroy the company for those people. For a reasonable fee, of course. And he could hide - change his name - should anything go wrong - like should the person he gives his prized information to doesn't fully get rid of them - a few hundred should do that.

But yes - it was his plan. He _wanted_a werewolf. Need one for his studies. Fascinating creatures they are...simply...mind boggling. Half humanoids that take their true form at a full moon. If only he could witness a transformation...

He sighed. All in due time, Miller you genius! this little 'lady' is desperate for your little 'remedy'...yes...as soon as she comes for her purchase, you'll have what you want - and then some.

Working with the Senior Partners of Wolfram and Hart was proving more interesting then he thought. Genius.

* * *

Wasn't the Internet a great thing?

Finding the obscure but all together interesting Alastair Miler - and ex-watcher who had strong ties in the magical side of the supernatural, he had discovered a 'wolfsbane' - a potion that can be taken by a potential werewolf before their first ful moon to annul the transformation. With modification - and successful, discrete cases - he was able to prolong the hold of the potion.

The website had explained how the first 12 transformations are initially the period when a person must get used to the effects - but a body can still reject the new 'strain' of the 'virus like DNA (these weren't the correct terms - but he simplified the explanation) the body was being subject to - and this modified 'wolf's bane' can help the body to reject the strain over a series of doses. Of course there was a fee to be made - but if Miller was able to see how desperate you are and your reasoning - he can reduce the costs.

This was it. A short drive out of L.A and a short drive back. And in 6-8 months time she'd be human again.

It wouldn't jeopardise her and Angel - but it could bring them closer. She made a deal to herself - after drinking the potion, and getting more herself - she'd ask Angel out. One date could lead to a romance - and she really wanted one of those. So she'd go to ex-watcher Alastair Miller. And she'd been human again.

* * *

Raising her eyebrow, Nina frowned. This small, salt and pepper haired man wasn't what she expected. She thought he'd be taller, completely grey haired - but wizened for it. Like...like that principal in those Harry Potter movies - without the beard and the height. She was slightly disappointed, but relieved also. He was an excitable fellow - talking a bit too fast - but he looked kind.

He scrambled around the room, asking questions and answering them himself, looking through several jars and bottle on a shelf, moving books around and hiding them away again. There were some questions that she had to answer herself. Like - how long she was a werewolf for, what she needed the potion for - important things that would contribute to the dosages Miller assured her. Apparently her case was not uncommon - he was infact dealing with another young man who was in a simular predicament and required his medicine as well.

Finally - after a half hour consulation and information into side effects and instructions on dossages - money and vials passed hands. Her first few doses 1 every 4 hours - and after that once every week till the full moon - where she must meet him again for more vials and instructions.

"I must stress one point - and this is the most important of them all. You must not - under any curcumstances - tell anyone of this remedy. If one were to find out and exploit this - or even to alert anyone of the werewolf situation - I would be afraid of the consequences. Werewolves who were happy with their situation may be forced to take the remedy - and many humans may think themselvesto be werewlves - as one of my clients had though and upon drinking the remedy - found it to be a poison."

Nina nodded, "Don't worry - I really need this."

* * *

It tasted foul - he did warn her of that. He said she could eat something directly after it - but she couldn't take any liquids for an hour in the fear that something could mix with the potion and create a new substance.

Pulling up into the Wolfram and Hart car park to get ready for being caged up, she got out the car, jogging up to the elevator to the 5th floor - the floor where Angel's office was situated. She decided to give him a surprise - maybe pop in and have a chat before the moon appeared. A casual flirting chat maybe.

But she couldn't get into Angel's office. The big double doors were locked. Peering through the windows she growled slightly, a prickling sensation piercing her skin as she felt her wolf like fur threatening to break through.

A black haired woman was sitting on the edge of Angel's desk, legs crossed and dangeling over the side, swaying gentally beside Angel's seat. She was stroking her collar bone, reading out the note that was in her hand before putting it down on the table. He was watching her carefully, and after she had read the note, had said something that she laughed at, hitting his arm a little.

She saw red. She was flirting with him! They guy that _she_ obviously had a chance with! She needed to learn a lesson - she needed to know what wasn't hers. She knew her face - from a meeting. She was sure she was one of Wesley's translators. Who ever she was, she was a bitch that needed to learn that she was not Angel's girl. And Nina was the one to teach her.


	10. Were Wars

**AN:** Finally got to my tenth chapter! It feels like a moment to celebrate. But of course - you haven't read it first. So sit back, enjoy a cookie, and read on. The celebrations shall follow.

**Were-Wars**

* * *

Back into my professinoal get up (waistcoat, shirt, smart pants and heels), I had a quick look through todays schedule as I came off the elevator. Last night I got a call from a sobbing woman - who turned out to my dad's new wife - telling me that my dad had had a stroke that night. So i spent most of the night talking and comforting Laney and disccusing the issue at bad hand between sobbing attacks so I had got no further on the translation work for Wes.

"Maddy!" came the squeak of a familiar ditzy blonde receptionist. I looked up from my leather bound planner (a gift from Laney a few months ago), to see Harmony waving her arms avidly at me and beckonging me closer. I shook my head, gesturing to my shared office, hoping to slip away from Harm's time consuming office gossip, "Maddy! C'mere! It's a note from Angel!"

Frowning, I sighed slightly, complying to Harmony's demands and approaching her, "Yeah?"

Biting her lip a little and twiddling her thumbs and looking down at her feet. Harmony sighed, "Well..it's not really a note...but-"

Growling, I closed my eyes and stamped my foot to the ground, "Harmony! I don't have time for this! Wesley's gave me some impossible deadline on some ancient scripture in some language I haven't even set eyes on before and I have a meeting at 3! I can't stop and chat!"

Looking rather bewildered at my outburst (as did several onlookers), Harmony winced slightly, "I was just going to tell you that the meeting's been moves at 12, and ask ifyou could maybe tell Wes on the way to your office."

Blushing fron the stares and guilt, I looked down, "Oh. Yeah. T-that's simple. i can do that-"

Eyebrows furrowed and looking at me queerly and cautiously, Harmony twirrled her pink, fluffy ended pen, "Are you sure? I could do it if you're busy..."

After assuring Harm it was no big, i backed off from her desk and made my way up the staircase to alert Wes of the news and possibly ask for an extention on the scripture deadling. Maybe I was exaggerating that not knowing of the language, but I was definatly not fluent and it was proving difficult to produce the translation within the deadline.

Fixing my hair behind my ear, I stood infront of Wes' office door, trying to sort a smile on my face, and then knocked briefly. Two voices came from within and then Wesley called for me to come in.

Illyria was standing a metre away from Wesley's wooden office table, staring hard and emotionless at my boss, who, after a moment of staring back at the God King with a note of defiacne, dropped his gaze and looked at some documents, "Maddy, I'm guessing this is about the translation?"

After Wes had acknowledged my apperance, Illyria turned her head round smartly to stare at me, her deep blue eyes giving a piercing gaze that i wriggled under uncomfortably, "N-no. Harmony asked me to tell you that the meeting time's changed to 12. But...um...I was actually wondering if-"

"Next Monday. But no later Maddy," Wesley added sternly, although he smiled slightly.

A small tide of relief washed over me, "Thanks Wes. God knows I nee-"

Cocking her head to the left, Illyria stared at Wesly once more, "Why do you call one another such names? 'Wes', 'Maddy', 'Spike', 'Angel'? These are not your full titles. Yet you insit on being hailed them. Why?"

Rubbing his forehead and sighing as if he had had this conversation a million times, Wes answered, "Humans and demons give each other names. It can be to shorten a long name, to show friendship and affection within a group. They're nicknames."

"My shell had been hailed something different. 'Fred'," her head tilted to the other side, " 'Freddy', 'Freddikins'. And other utred aliases." Straighening her head and staring out the window opposite me, Illyria declared that the human race 'as impotent fools that she wishes to undersant further', before striding out of the room.

Turning back to Wesley, I raised my eyebrows, "I can see she ain't got her green card to the human race yet, hmm?"

Getting up, turning his back towards me and opening a cupboard Wesley poured himself a single malt, downed it and poured another, "Not if she's intent on insuling us constantly."

Frowning, I watched Wes' back carefully, "Not too early for that?"

"Not if I started last night, no."

I bit the inside of my mouth. Wesley had become more withdrawn, almost lost, ever sine Illyria took over Fred's body. He had perfect rights too of course - his girlfriend possibly the love of his life, had her body taken over by a hostile God. Her essence had gone - the lovely, bubbly, smiley Fred had turned into the pschycotis, cold, emotionless Illyria. Everyone was mourning the loss, yet not as much as Wesley. And we all worried about him.

About to leave, I sighed a little, fixing my hair again. "Wes... if... if you need to talk... you know where I am." Not recieving a noise or nod of acknowledgement, i slipped out of the room quietly and closed the door behind me.

Things change so easily - one little word, one action can change a plan of yours - or someone elses. Wesley had planned - even if it was not stated to us - for him and Fred's bosy as the vessel of an evil, inhuman creature, had torn not only Wesley's, but our lives apart too.

Amazing how one decision can change things.

But its not only for the bad.

Spike's decision to leave the bet behind had lead to us kissing - and then the semi-relationship we are in. it could've been a one night stand and he just wanted to make sure I didn't choke on my own vomit. But then again it could be something more.

I turned the corner to reach my office, noticing Spike walking towards our office as well. He smiled as he saw me, his trademark sexy smile blossoming on his face, encouraging me to blush and swoon. looking down momentarily I gave myself a mental check - look up and smile back you idiot!

Opening the door, Spike bowed and ushered me inside, closing the door behind him.

"Morn-" before I could even reach my desk and finish my sentence, Spike had closed the blinds that allowed us to see out of the office into the corridor and spun me arround, kissing me needily. Shocked at first, I dropped my planner on my desk behind me, melting into the kiss. He lifted me onto the desk behind me, starting to take off my waistcoat and unbutton my shirt, nuzzling and kissing my neck. I groaned, trying to pull away reluctantly, "S-Spike? Not here... if someone walks in-"

He slid his hands up my half unbuttoned shirt, carrassing my stomach, "Who cares?"

Somehow, that annoied me. I did have dignity - no matter how needy I could be myself. I did not and would not ever drop my pants all for one guy. The wrong message may have been sent last night - I'd have to correct that.

Pulling away before it got out of hand, I buttoned my shirt away, "I do." I was not an easy ride.

Exhaling heavily, Spike ran a hand through his hair, "Yeah. OK."

I sat at my desk, finished the paperwork afater a few hours and started on translation, rubbing my forehead out of stress and frustration. Spike sat at his desk, playing on his gameboy advance, obviously sulking about the fact that I denied him of any physical activities until after work.

Alfred, the new intern at work, was doing his duty rounds of seeing who was doing what, running errands and bringing coffee to those who asked for it. It was this job that gave him that nickname 'Alfie the Coffee Guy'. It was well knwon that Alfie was clrealy afraid of anyone who was remotely demon - even Angel and Spike, who whilst they look human, displayed to Alfie their true nature so he was aware and had to revive him afterwards.

"Hey Maddy. I brought you that de-caf you asked for. Two sugars, low-fat cream..." he said this whilst keeping a well trained eye on Spike, who briefly took to staring at Alfie until he wriggled uncomfortably.

Screwing up my eyes, I inhaled slowly, counting to ten as I rubbed my fingertips over my throbbing temples. "I asked for a double expresso, three sugars and a ham sandwhich."

Hitting his forehead with the palm of his hand, Alfie looked pained, "That's why that guy looked at me funny! I'll fix it-"

I shook my head, telling him it was fine and just to put it on my deask. Waited for him to mess that up as well. About to place it on my paper work as I told him not to, Alfie jumped, spilling the latte all over the work.

So far I had been pretty patient all day - with Wes, Illyria, Spike and Harm. Besides my little slip up with HAmr this morning, I had my bad mood under control.

But now it was the final straw. I saw red. The word 'kill' ran round my mind as I pushed my chair back and slammed my hands down on the table.

"I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!"

Spike looked up, laughing slightly, caught my expression as I rounded the table and scrambled to protect Alfie.

"I'M GOING TO KILL THE LITTLE BASTARD!" I yelled, trying to pull away from Spike's hold. Alfie stared at me in shock for a few seconds before moving to behind my desk, "I'M GONNA SLICE UP HIS LITTLE BODY AND BURN THE CHUCKS ONE BY ONE!"

Spike spluttered to hold back a luagh and called for Alfie just to leave before I actually did kill him. As Alfie ran off, Spike sat me down on my chair behinf my table, "What was that all about? It was an accident."

"Yeah! An accident all over the work I've been doing this past week! _And_ I don't have anymore money for lunch!" I looked down, holding my head, sniffing back tears, "I don't knwo why Wesley doesn't just fire me."

Sitting down on my desk, Spike took my hand in his and told me not to worry, he'd tell Wes what happened, and speak to Angel about getting me some more days off, I shook my head and told him I'd be ok.

"Maddy, love, I'm starting to think you're way too stressed," he lifted my head, looking into my eyes with genuine worry set deep in his, "And I don't like it. I want to fix whatever's wrong."

I sniffed, shaking my head, "And I don't like it. I want to fix it for you, babe. I want to fix whatever's wrong."

I sniffed, shaking my head, "I'll fix it for you. I'll fix it."

* * *

It happened in fits and starts - either that or it happened all so sudden that my mind was only picking up every 100 frames of movement - like one of those cameras that take pictures at certain intervals. It seemed so fast and so slow at the same time.

Looking for an original in the vaults-

Sighing as I closed another file-

Looking round when a growl seems to come from down another alley-

A large, furry arm brought back to show a young face-

-the claws an inch away from me, my realisation finally set in-

-the impact of the ground hitting my body-

-the pain finally set in-

-the darkness slowly surrounding-

-the shouts from another place - another time -

The shock on his face as he held me to him. The worry. The fears. The anger mingling within all of this, the pure rage set in his jaw.

The faint whisper, "I'll fix this."

The black.


	11. The Thing About Doubt and Fryingpans

**AN:** ....weren't Chapter 10's celebrations amazing?!? Thanks for the reviews everyone - I know I haven't been thanksing you guys enough for your contibutions etc, and I need to do so now. So thanks again! And I hope you guys won't be disappointed with my decisions from now on!

**Note on the following:** Takes place over several days (which I will display with a * to clarify this.)

**The Thing About Doubts and Frying-pans**

* * *

_2 Days Later_

I remember some parts before being properly conscious. I guess the delay camera in my mind had been left on for a while - those small fragments were embedded in front of my eyes, burned into my brain. Looking out the window before drifting off again, hoping he got home ok. Saying goodbye to her. Assuring her I was OK, but demanding a healthy supply of chocolate and fro the house to be dusted before they let me out. Laney rushing in, waking my up and hugging me – telling me she came as soon as she got his note, asking me what happened, what I needed to get done to me, how I was.

His soft, singing voice lulling me to sleep. The worry set in his eyes as I told him I couldn't remember anything – that I didn't know what the smashed glass was that they apparently found beside me. Remembering. Him explaining what he found when he got to me, asking, pleading for me to remember something from before – anything. Small chat about everyone, before asking how her was, smiling sleepily at him, so pleased and relieved to see him. Waking up confused but seeing his eyes, felt an instant wave of relief. Someone stroking my hands, rousing me from my stupor.

This time, I woke up feeling more refreshed – properly awake. As if I had been Sleeping Beauty without all the jolly happiness that goes along with it (besides the Prince Charming of course!) I pulled myself up slightly, wondering if I had done the right thing earlier on – lying to Spike about the attack. I knew fine well that it was Nina that caused the three sets of stitches and one blood transfusion. There was no other werewolf in the building at the time – the time where Wolfram and Hart done its 'fur? – no entry' day to all except Nina.

And that was the full moon day. So it must've been her. I had simply put it down to two things – she most defiantly was going to go all wolfy. And she might've had her Aunty Flo down for a visit – if you know what I mean. She's such a lovely person, and we both got on well enough from the few times we were able to chat. And if Angel trusts her enough, what the hell gives us reason not to?

Resisting the urge to scratch the stitches off that tightened the skin over my left breast, I clawed my way down to the edge of my bed to read the doctors notes, frowning at how cold it was and how numb my legs felt from not being used for 2 days now. I'm not an active person – I only used to walk down and back from the nightclub or the grocery store – but the strange felling of nothing in my legs brought me worry about amputation and how people sometimes have lost enough blood for the doctors to need to cut off limbs to ensure that there was enough blood for the rest of the body.

After stripping the covers away and ensuring my legs were still there and massaging them to wake up, I continued my groping for the notes. My back to the door, I began to read.

The scrawled handwriting took a moment to plunder through and decipher, but I was able to pluck out the odd word here and there. 'Concussion ' and 'deep lacerations' were picked out from the text. My hand slid to the back of my head. I didn't have a headache. Or was I not meant to?

"Is that an open invitation, love?" a deep growl came from behind me. I knew that growl – had fooled around with that growl. I couldn't help it, but a deep red blush blossomed over my neck and face, a huge grin breathing out, a giggle escaping.

"And what's that supposed to mean?" I asked, turning to face him.

Spike pushed himself off of the door frame, closing the door over behind him, "Well, in case you ain't noticed yet, pet, you're in a hospital gown –" he smirked as I rolled my eyes, stating that it was beyond the obvious , "- and if you would let me finish, I would've said that its completely backless." He sat down on the edge of the bed, taking the apple I left over from my last meal and took a chunk out of it with a pleasing crunch.

My eyes widened in embarrassment. I was pretty sure the door was open when I had got up. If Spike wasn't there the whole time, then I'd just flashed my ass to anyone passing by. What if someone took a video of my ass and are gonna upload it on YouTube? Maybe cameras weren't allowed in hospitals.

"I was there for the whole time. No one saw," he stated, as if he was reading my mind.

"Are you sure? What if –"

"You worry too much. What does it matter if they did see your arse?" He thought for a second, then smirked, "If they were anything like me, they'll've enjoyed it."

Shaking my head slightly, I laughed, "yeah – it's not that I was worried about. It was if they were nothing like you! They'd be traumatised!"

He got up rolling his eyes and throwing the apple core in the bin. Picking up the beg Laney had brought for me, he thumped it down on the bed, "Well... there's two ways we can do this. You could walk through that door with clothes or you can flash to the whole of Hell Inc. I know which one I'd prefer."

I frowned, "'Hell Inc.'?"

"Wolfram and Hart? You do know that there's a hospital in here, right? Mind I was here for my arms? And Cordy in her coma?"

"Isn't it just supernatural stuff that pass through here?"

"Yours seemed supernatural enough. Don't know who or what caused it –" his eyes gazed over me, his eyebrows furrowing a little, "Are you sure you still can't remember anything?"

Sighing, i looked down at my hands, fiddling with them and nodded, "Not a thing."

Looking slightly peeved, he nodded, "It's ok love. Don't worry. When we find out who did this.... I'll kill 'em."

No you won't. Not Nina anyway.

* * *

It took me a while to get used to walking again – the wobbling sensation was constantly there, as if at any moment my legs wanted to pull out from under me. In a way – I'd gotten used to it. Being a naturally clumsy person, I was forever dropping things all over the place, tripping up and forgetting things. One of the first things on my list was to get the statement over and done with – and probably sign a form that contracts me not to sue Wolfram and Hart L.A. for any of the preceding problems etc, etc, given to me by Gunn most likely.

So I headed off to the department W&H was most commonly known for – the law department.

We didn't talk much, me and Gunn – not nearly as much as me and anyone else in the gang. Lorne, Fred and I normally all had lunch together, before Lorne got 'lunch-dates' and with various entertainment clients and Fred had Knox. Or Wesley. Or Illyria. So whilst me and Lorne didn't talk much anymore, I guess we still were close.

Deciding to force Lorne into having lunch with me sometime soon, I knocked on Gunn's door and walked in when he answered.

* * *

_4 months later_

"Angel!" I called from the top of the stairs he left the building. He had to know.

Turning swiftly at his name being called, Angel looked up at me as I ran down the stairs quickly, "We – we need to talk," I uttered breathlessly, "It's....i-important."

Frowning a little, his eyebrows furrowed, "Go to my office. Just let me go tell Harmony to tell someone I'll be a bit late..."

Nodding, I plodded with an underlying pant into his office.

Plunging myself into one of his leather seats that sat adjacent to his desk. I had committed myself into doing this. There was no way I could back out of this now.

So far, no one expect me, Fido, Laney and obviously Spike knew of the relationship – I hated having to hide it. It was mostly my fault- I had told him of all the hassles involved with two colleagues dating – that forms had to be filled out, as it was required for some reason in W&H. And now I just didn't care. I would fill in forms for the rest of my life if it meant I could hold Spike's hand in work and not worry about what people might think.

Entering his office, Angel closed the door and stood before me, arms crossed a look of concern on his face, "What's wrong?"

Months ago, being in Angel's presence would've made me swoon. Yeah – I had a big time crush on him. But who wouldn't? He was a 6 foot something hunk of devilishly brooding babe. Tall, dark, handsome – a practical superhero too. And when he wasn't out saving people in need, he was earning it big time. And who wouldn't have the bitsy bit of a crush on their boss anyway? Authority figures demand respect – and therefore get it drooled over them in return by the likes of me. I had it hard for Angel – was the lost little puppy obediently trying to follow his instructions to win him over. I can't remember when I stopped having a crush on him though – but I know I did though. Sweat didn't form on the palms of my hand for a start and I certainly didn't imagine anymore steamy scenes in which we would debut and consummate our relationship over a late night tete-et-tete.

Don't get me wrong here – of course Angel's still attractive to me – but it wasn't in the, "Oh my God he just looked at me! I think I just jazzed in my pants!" -type of way. It was more like, "Oh. There's Angel. He's my fortunately good looking vampire boss" kinda way.

"It's not that anything's wrong, per say. It's more... of a warning. Not in a bad way just...letting you know something I guess," I babbled. Well, that part of the crush didn't go away at least. Or maybe it was just the nerves.

"And that would be?" he asked impatiently. I knew he was probably going for a meeting with a client or something else equally important and I was probably wasting his time. So I had to do this fast.

"Me and Spike are dating."

Silence.

I waited for a reaction. Angel just looked at me with a blank expression.

I coughed a little as if to encourage him to continue. When he just raised an eyebrow in confusion, I continued, "As in...Seeing each other? Together? Going ou-"

"I know what it is, Maddy. Everybody knows about you two."

Taken back, my eyebrows furrowed towards my nose, "Yo- they do?"

Sitting back on the edge of his desk, his arms still folded over his broad chest, the left corner of his lip turned up slightly, "Well it was hardly a secret. The inside jokes. Playing footsie under the table in meetings – 'coincidently' having to be excused from meetings at the same time –" his smile picked up before he stated in an innocent tone, "- and oh! Those weird noises that come out from your office sometimes. I wonder what _they're _all about!"

I blushed, not meeting his eye as a red warmth rushed up my neck and mumbled, "He thinks it's endearing."

"Well, he would say that if he wanted more sex, Maddy. Just because he's a vampire doesn't make him less of a man. But it _did _make him more of an ass-" seeing my raised eyebrow and steady gaze he stopped "- never mind. Look – it's fine by me. I'm not gonna tell you two to stop dating – it's not my authority to and to be frank, i don't wanna and i don't really care to be honest. I'm just gonna say.....as much as it pains me to admit it.....that for all the problems Spike has...he's really a good guy. It can be hard to find it – but he is. And you're happy together. Plus – you're keeping him out my hair, " he shrugged a little ,"Can't complain. But just one little favour."

Getting up as I felt the concluding point arriving I nodded, "Yeah?"

"Stay for the whole of a meeting. And no more sex in your office. Just ...ask to go home."

Pleased with my results, I nodded, "Thanks Angel."

Practically skipping towards my office to tell Spike the good news, I stopped before the door, confused. It was left ajar. I distinctly remembered locking it. Spike was at homejust now – he said something about him going patrolling soon and not having any time to come in and annoy Angel – his favourite pastime. Maybe I distinctly remembered to remind myself to lock the door, but forgetting anyway? I shrugged anyway and went inside, searching for my purse and my memory stick. It was about time I clocked off, and I definitely had more work to do at home.

Grabbing my purse from my desk and about to take my memory stick from the computer, i head a loud bang – and spun round to see Nina leaning against the door, her expression stoney.

"Oh! You gave me a- "I frowned as I noticed that her expression didn't change in the slightest, "I didn't tell them – if that's what you're worried about. I know it was a mistake and you didn't mean -"

"Was it?"

I frowned more, deeply confused, "Was what?"

"A mistake? How do you know?"

Silence.

I didn't know what to say. She must've been joking. Right?

Pushing herself from the door, she was standing in front of me, her jaw set angrily, "I thought you might've learned a lesson last time. I guess now I need to spell it out to you. Keep away from Angel. Otherwise I'll hit deeper than I did last time," she leaned in, pushing me hard against the desk, probably smelling my fear, "and I can't promise that you'll be a target."

She left the room in a smart, cool, calculated manner. I had to feel my trousers to make sure I hadn't wet myself.

* * *

I ran up the stairs, depserate to tell Spike of the Nina situation, kinda upset about it all. She had meant it - all of it!

But instead, I walked in on what could only be described as a possible blood shed.

I arrived back just in time to see Laney about to swing my steel frying pan at Spike's head, which he was protecting with his arms, trying to dodge her frantic swings as Fido hissed at Spike, haunches raised.

My eyes widened and I dropped my bag, calling for Laney to stop, jumping to protect Spike, "What the hell is going on?!"

Talking at the same time in reiased, angry voices, I was able to piece together what when the 'thieving scum' realised that someone had took my spare key, he picked the lock to try to see if anything was stolen and the 'hell bitch' who was inside started to hit first and risk questions later.

Pushing a hand through my hair, I took the pan from Laney and rolled my eyes, "Laney 'hell bitch' happens to be my sister. And the 'theiving scum' is Spike. My boyfriend."

An awkward silence decended. I thrust the silver pan into Spike's hands, scooped up my bag and Fido, reasuring Mrs Walker that we don't need the police and going inside to make something to eat, "Some in when you're hungry then."

* * *

Pouring the warm blood into a mug after dishing out the pasta, I tired not to giggle at the crap conversation starters Laney had been trying with Spike. So far there'd been, "So, you're English?", "It's cold there, huh?" and best of all, "Is your hair _actually_ that color?"

"So...you're...um..."

"A vampire?" Spike finished, his eyebrow raised slightly at Laney, "Yeah."

I smiled as she said that was cool and pressed more questions, which Spike answered, equally amused, until her put some of the pasta into his mouth, frowed, looked at Laney, then drank deepily from his mug. Laney sniggered, ripping uo more of the garlic bread and stuffing her mouth with it.

"What is it?" I asked, furrowing my eyebrows, looking between the two.

Shaking his head innocently, Spike reluctantly swollowed the mouthful, coughing a little, "Nothing, pet."

Laney snorted, head back in the throws of laughter, "I _told_ you that you couldn't cook Maddy! you don't need a dead guy to tell you that!"

I glared at both Spike and Laney as they laughed, shaking my head, "Oh behave! I'm sure you two are just exaggerating!" Angry at their stupidity, I tried a small mouthful.

I can't quite tell you what it tasted like - a mixture of shit. And more shit.

"Pizza?"


	12. The Coffee Break Is Over

**AN:** Just a small thanks for everyone who has gotten this far and hasn't given up! Hope you all had a great festive period and I'm wondering why they all came at the end of the year – rather convenient that. Oh! And a little favour to ask! If anyone comes across Maddy's last name, please do point it out to me – continuity is rather important to me and knowing if I gave Maddy a second name would put me to rest! Thanks all!!!

**OUTFORAWALKBITCH:** I'm writing like the wind and pulling out all the stop here – hoping to satisfy your ever growing hunger! I hope this might keep you filled for a little while!

**The Coffee Break is Over**

* * *

_2 Days from "Jack's Help"._

Being a day off, I was able to curl up beside Spike in his bed, nuzzling up onto his bare chest. I watched him sleep, chest rising and falling slightly, his eyelashes resting on his high cheekbones. If I didn't know him I'd think he's a fallen angel in slumber.

Rubbing his cheek with the pad of my thumb, I smiled slightly, kissing his forehead and slid my hand over him to reach the bedside desk that had my cell on it.

Shifting back into place and holding my breath while he shuffled onto his side and wrapped his arms around my stomach, I checked the time. And sighed. A text was left on my mobile from Laney telling me she'll have to take the 5-7pm visiting time to see dad because she had a class.

After another stroke that's now left a droop on the left side of his face, his left arm to lie slightly dead and a slur in his speech, dad was back in hospital, much worst then he was before – tired, grumpier and being completely forgetful – so much so he calls Carol (his new wife), Jenny (my mom). It was so hard to see dad like this. He was Big Bear, the big, comfy, protective living teddy bear that has the best growl ever. His warming Scottish grumble became reduced down to a sloppy, slurry stutter.

I sighed, knowing I was going to have to lie to Spike again – I couldn't have him worry over me and Laney, not when he just let up his leash over the Nina situation.

After telling Spike about the office conflict, his haunches had been raised the whole time, not even letting me go to get a loaf of bread on my own. Not that I was complaining. It was nice to sit in the house while Spike ran down to the closest grocery store or walked me down, clutching my hand whilst I decided to go for white or wholemeal.

There was however, the dad situation. And I found I was genuinely running out of any good excuses to be gone for two hours at a time and not have my phone on for that period of time. And there were the time slots to make excuses for. It only takes a person a little while to realise that you are only leaving at 12 – 2 pm or 5-7 pm.

Sighing again, I took a deep breath and slipped out from under Spike's hold, hoping not to wake him up. Grabbing clothes that were piled on the floor, I clipped on my bra and put on Spike's black t-shirt. It definitely didn't cling and flow in the ight places on me like it did on him – more like it rolled and ruffled.

Strong arms cuddled around me and nuzzled into my back, "It's your day off, love. Stay in bed beside me..." he murmured, pulling the covers up around him closer, trying to coax me to lie down beside him in the warm, soft covers-

"Mmm... I wish I could, babe. But I gotta pop into work for a bit. Pick up some stuff," watching him sigh and sit up, I felt a pang of guilt go through me, "I tell you what, " I sat closer to him, tilting my head in a way not unlike him and held his hands in mine on my lap, "Why don't you come round to my place, I'll pick up a Chinese and pig's blood on the way home and ... maybe you can spend the night?"

Jutting his jaw and rolling his eyes, a slight smile brushed his face and he shook his head softly. Huffing, he slid on his boxers and got up from the bed, "You drive a good bargain – I'll admit that."

Leaning over the bed to get to his side, I gave him a peck, "Trust me. It's a win-win situation."

His eyebrows furrowed more, and I swear I saw him pouting, his arms crossed in a tantrum over his still bare chest, "For you, yeah. But you're gonna be gone. I'll be left here all by myself – with only your smell on the bed sheets to comfort me – OW!" He picked up the pillow and threw it back, "What was _that _all about?! I was making a heartfelt speech there."

"Yeah, yeah. Smells... being alone-" I stopped, light bulbs flashing overhead, "How long have we been going out again?"

An eyebrow raised, he pulled on his jeans and shrugged while I made up his bed, "Dunno. You're the woman! You should-"

"'Bout 6 months – give or take a few days – but anyway – why don't you move in?"

Taking a step back, his eyebrows now dropped to meet each other, and he looked at me with mixed emotions of confusion and shock, "W-what?"

Crappers. Done it again Maddison! You're just amazing at scaring them off, "O-kay. Let's just forget that sentence ever happened and-"

"No...are you actually asking _me _to move in? With _you_?"

"I...was. Now it depends."

"On what?"

"What your answer is."

"If it's no?"

"I'm not asking."

"Yes?"

"Then you're moving in."

"Guess I am."

I looked at him for a second, rather dumbstruck for a second until I realised what just happened and let a goofy smile blossom over my face, "Neat!"

* * *

I hate hospitals. The clinical white walls. The smell of industrial disinfectant. The feelings of helplessness as innocent people were dying or injured around you. Hospitals suck.

I remember the first time I was in the hospital. I was 9 years old. My dad took me, Chris and Graham to the Rockefeller ice-skating rink for the first time. I held onto the side, trying to get used to the feeling of being unbalanced. Chris and Graham had no problems, skating around wildly while dad hovered around me, making sure I was ok from a distance and shouting encouragement now and then.

I've always hated knowing I can't do something. Everything should be possible in my point of view. I just had to work hard enough at it. So as my twin and Graham were running circles around me, I got jealous. I wanted to show I could skate too. I pushed away from the side of the rink.

Unfortunately, things didn't go as planned.

As soon as I let go of the ledge, I slid, struggling to keep my balanced for a while before falling to the floor head first.

I hears screams and saw blurred people skating towards me.

Chris whimpered, "I-Is she dying?"

Graham chuckled weakly, "Brain freeze."

Dad told Graham to shut up and called on an ambulance...

When I woke up, I remember seeing huge bagfuls of toys around me, a giant teddy sitting at the end of the bed. The doctor laughed and made some jokes to my pale faced parents about accidents being a Christmas time for kids before streaming out a whole load of jargon.

This time however, it was me having to sit through the jargon. And the solemn faced doctor made no jokes as dad slept though the lecture I got. I nodded as the doctor went through his notes and read of what he wrote. I politely interrupted with questions on what he meant and trying to prolong his stay.

It sounded horrible to say, but I didn't want to be left alone with him. It didn't matter as much when he was awake – we could somehow pass the time with small talk on work, family and events from around the world etc – but when he was asleep it became more difficult. I had to think about what would happen if he were to have another stroke and died in front of me. I had the time to question how I would react – scared? Shocked? Would I burst into tears? Become hysterical? Go numb? Feel relief for him? How would I tell everyone I was the last person to see him, how I was the person to watch his last moments on earth? How I would be too late, too slow or in too much shock. How I watched my own father die.

And then the funeral. The slow procession of weeping women, men solemn and looking down in respect. Would I have to make a speech? Would it be right? I would miss something out or make a mistake – I'm clumsy like that. Would I burst into tears and leave? Or would i sniff and go through it? What if I didn't cry at all? What would people think?

Would it break up our family? Would Laney never want to talk to me again? Would I be left alone to suffer without Big Bear there to give me one of his hugs? Would I survive without him?

The possibilities were endless. I honestly didn't want to seem heartless by saying I hope he doesn't die on me – but it was definitely running in my head. I simply wouldn't cope would probably be the answer to all of my thoughts. Besides Grandpa Mike passing away when I was 12, I'd never lost anyone close to me. And I just knew I would never cope.

Of course I stayed anyway, holding his hand and rubbing the back of it with my thumb. I didn't want him to be alone, and I would like to think he could feel my presence and feel safer in his slumber because of it. But the fear and the threat of the death were never far away and I kept a close eye on his pulse monitor.

* * *

_Meanwhile..._

He practically skipped through the corridor with his last carton of coffee. He got the order right this time – he even made a list just to make sure. There would be a joke about it. "Finally! Better late than never though, eh kiddo?" He was smiling already.

They planned a small surprise party on the meeting room – that was why they sent him there to deliver it – he was sure of it. He heard them talking about it one day when he's been observing and making notes, they hadn't noticed he was even in the room. A party all for him. Even though he made all those mistakes, they seemed to like him. Which was a good sign. Maybe he was going to do well being a lawyer.

He reminded himself of the list and ticked them off in his mind. Latte with low fat cream. Check. Tea with one sugar. Check. Double espresso. Check. De-caf, no milk. Check. No. Wait. Tea, no sugar. Crap! He forgot the sweet and low's!

Laughing at his own stupidity, Alfie decided t skip back along to the cafeteria and get the sugar – he was determined to get it right, even if it meant re-ordering the whole lot just to make sure they were hot and paying for them with his own money. He knew that as there was a party they would probably never drink anyway – but there was the principle of course!

So off he skipped, back along the corridor towards the lobby area. He stopped as he passed to photocopying area, confused as to why the light was off. Being the good natured citizen he was, Alfie decided to play God. Fumbling around, he placed the coffee on top of the photocopying machine and felt for the light switch. With a smug grin, he captured it within his finders. _Ah! _He thought, _Gottcha!_

And with a small grin, he glanced up to where he thought the light bulb would be and flicked the switch.

"Let there be light!" he called out before being mauled to the ground.

* * *

They found his body at 2:25PM and estimate the time of death at approximately 1:20PM. A 'joke' search party was deployed to find Alfred Manning's location after he had left to get beverages from the in building cafeteria an hour before hand. Mr Derek Willings discovered the body as he was on route to the cafeteria a floor below. He was stated to say that he ran out of the corridor and back to the group to report his findings.

No witnesses were found and Wolfram and Hart are still interviewing the staff to aquire any information on the incident.

The weapon was not found at the scene of the crime, although a suspect has been identified as a small, silver Universal Serial Bus has been acquired at the scene of the crime.


	13. Turning Points and False Truths

**UntilNeverDawns:**Things are a lile confusing at the momen for my deares readers - but it was Alfie that was killed. By whom? We'll just have to wait and see now don't we? For those who don't know who Alfie is, he was introduced in the 10th chapter as an original characer (one I made up) who is an intern at Wolfram and Hart. I hope that cleared things up!

**Turning Points and Flase Truths**

* * *

I ran through my entire apartment, ransacking every area to find my memory stick that had all of me work on it. I most definitely remember going into my office, finding the door ajar and –

Oh. Nina.

I left it at work. I smiled in relief and then looked around me with a frown. Did I really pull out the cushions to find it? And was that small pile of clothes moving?!? And purring?

"Fido! I have no time to play games! I got work!" scattering my clothes everywhere, I unearthed Fido from his hiding place and put him back on the re-pillowed couch.

"After you've cleaned up though I presume."

Jumping about a mile in the air, I clutched my chest and looked at the freshly showered Spike, semi-naked and all. My heart was still beating furiously – but it wasn't from the fright anymore.

"No time. I gotta go do some work. Meet and translate some texts for a client," I fluttered my eyelashes and bit my bottom lip, trying to look as sugary as....sugar, "You maybe couldn't –"

Sighing, he nodded, leaning against the door frame, hair still dripping, "What would you be like without me?"

Grabbing my bag from the coffee table, I pursed my lips, cocked an eyebrow and looked up at the ceiling in mock thoughtfulness, "Hmm...a blithering fool with no life and nothing to look forward to? Ever?"

He watched me coming closer, nodding his head slightly, "Yeah. Probably."

I laughed a little, rolled my eyes and gave him a peck, not caring if my shirt got a little wet, "You have no idea how hard it is for me not o pull that towel off you right now."

Smirking, he licked his lips and pulled me closer, hands on my ass, "You have no idea how much I want you to do hat right now-"

"My bad! I-I'll learn to knock!" Retracing her steps and looking distraught, laney left the room and closed thedoor.

"I need o revoke her key rights..." I murmured as Spike shook his head and called Laney back inside, "Remember to ask Angel if you can borrow a car when you come in – we'll start moving you in today!" I gave him one last peck while Laney squealed something about 'taking the next step' and started my short walk to the office.

* * *

After a rather hectic 3 hours with the Idlhok demons (I was pretty sure I saw one of them crack open a human skull and tuck in), I arrived back at me office and began my tentative search for my memory stick, only to stop and be confused. Again/

It was 2:30- Spike should have been in by this time. Even though it was sunny, he said he would go through the sewers to get to W&H and ask Angel for a car. And she simply wasn't in. Everything was...smoke free. Not even a whiff of a fa- cigarette. He really was rubbing off on me! I found myself streaming out English profanities the other day when I stubbed my toe-

But the point was, there was no Spike.

Putting my bag down on the desk, I decided to go look for him – he had to be in or he would've texted me saying he was home. Or something along those lines.

I strided out of the office and jogged down the stairs, thinking he'd probably be sitting in Angel's office, annoying the hell out of him and then asking for one of his priceless cars.

Before I could even reach Angel's office, I noticed something odd. A meeting in the conference room. Without me. Maybe they didn't know I was back. But Harmony did. She saw me come off the elevator. Marching towards the meeting, I shouted a sarcastic thanks to Harm and walked into silence.

Ever get that feeling everyone in the room was talking about you? Then you'll know how I felt.

"Sorry...Harmony didn't tell me there was a meeting –" looking round them all, I frowned. All of them glared at me. All except Spike, who sat back in his chair, not looking round as I tried desperately to get eye contact with him, "What's going on?"

"Don't act like you don't know," Gunn growled, his eyes piercing into me.

"But...but I don't-"

Angel slid something across the table. Something small and silver and familiar to me. My memory stick. They were angry I left it at work?

"Oh. That's mine!" I looked at Wes, "Sorry I didn't do that work-"

"We found it near his body."

I looked at Angel, "Body? Look...is anyone gonna explain this to me or what?"

"Alfred's body was found yesterday. At the photocopying department. With your USB beside it. Care to explain Maddison?" Wesley's eyes never left mine as I struggled to sift through what he was saying and what it all meant. He thought i did it?

"Ye-yesterday? But I wasn't even here! I...I didn't do it! I couldn't! Why would I-"

"You seemed pretty tense the day you got 'attacked'," Nina added. She shrugged, "Word was going round he done something to your work and you freaked."

As Lorne confirmed this with the Harmony story, it all snapped into place.

Nina.

I rounded the table. She couldn't do this! She was ruining my life – and I had done nothing to deserve this. Nothing at all.

"You!" as I was about to grab her, Angel and Spike ran into action, Angel protecting Nina as Spike grabbed my arms and pulled me away from her. The others stood, watching me with cold calculation. This was too much. What had happened in the last day that turned their smiles into such destroying looks? What made their trust turn into such hatred? They looked so disgusted with me. And it was all down to Nina.

"Tell them! Tell them what you did! TELL THEM!" I screamed, pleading, begging her to just tell them. Although her face has fear and shock plastered on it, her eyes danced knowingly, mocking me.

Spike's grasp on my arms strengthened. The group just continued to look at me expectantly, waiting for me to explain my supposed sins.

In desperation, I turned back to Spike, "I was with you. Yesterday. The whole day. Spike – I was with you!" I felt myself begin to cry as he dropped his hands and looked away from me, "We were together!"

He shook his head gently, looking down, "You left. You said you came here – you left stuff. You left."

"And you were gone during the time he died," Angel stated, "We've got everything to say it was you."

I was till looking at Spike, devastated, "I...you....Lorne. Lorne. You read me! You knew I wouldn't...I couldn't do this! I don't have it in me!"

"we've all got it in us," he said shrugging, "I might not've known when though."

Coughing, Angel placed his hands n the table, "If you're telling the truth-"

"I am!"

"- then we'll have to find out who really did do it. But until then...you can't come to work."

Silence rung throughout the room. It pushed me down, crumpling me up. This wasn't right. What went wrong?

Looking around the group, i felt helpless. Not one of them said, "Wait a minute! This is Maddy! Our friend and comrade in fighting crime!" Instead they all passed me up to the chopping block, Angel the reader of my crimes and Nina the executioner. But it was Spike that dealt the killing blow.

After finding my answer to my quest for loyalty in their eyes, i glared at Spike and nodded, "I see. This is how it is."

I strided to the door, knowing all eyes were on me, holding my dignity intact, not stopping to look back.

So this was where the loyalty lay. Not with me.

* * *

I threw things into a box I found at the photocopying room. Right enough, the area was sealed off and congealed blood was smudged on the floor. Seeing as I was already an outlaw, i moved under the yellow tape and grabbed the box to pack my stuff away into.

Whatever happened, I knew i was not going back into that office. So I started to shove everything away inside it. Pens. Old reports and half written ones. My laptop and personal office stationary. Decorative stuff I brought in to cheer up my desk. Everything was coming home. Except him.

"Don't bother, "I growled, feeling his presence in the room and stopping him before he started.

"Maddy...I-"

"I said don't." Picking up the box, I glared at him, "Don't you know how it felt? You left me to die down there Spike! You know I wouldn't do that!"

He looked around the room, searching for the words to say, "You were gone when he died! I couldn't lie! You said you were here-"

"I lied!" I shouted, dropping my box and stamping my foot to the floor, "I lied ok? I was seeing my possibly dying dad at the hospital! And if you need any evidence for that, why don't you go ask Laney? Or even better still, go check him out! Make sure I didn't do that too! Cause I can't induce a stroke!"

Looking at me blankly, he shook his head, "But...why didn't you just-"

"It doesn't matter what I did. Right now...it's what I didn't do that does matter," I stooped, picking up my box again, "Thanks for believing in me. You'll find your box of stuff outside the apartment, if it gets stolen – too bad."

"Maddy –"

"Don't bother. I don't want to ever see you again."

With that, I walked out, bighting back the tears, desperate not to let any of my so called friends see me cry.

Harmony solemnly watched me press the elevator's button. She knew all along and let me go into the lion's den without warning.

"Harm. You tell Nina to 'fess up, 'kay? And you remember to take some notes on how to be a good friend. You definitely need them."

They seemed just final words. A warning and a tip. Well...if I was suspected of murder, I might as well play up to the bad girl image. Right?


	14. Now

**AN: **It'sNew Years eve - a new year will begin tomorrow! I'm hoping everyone will have an excellent start at the begining of the year and lives long and prosperously!

**UntilNeverDawns: **I hated writing that part -I knew that if it was me, he'd be forgiven and hugs and kisses would be given allround. Stupid...stupid Maddy!

**Now**

* * *

After emptying out the box of my old office equipment, I put everything of his in it. It was hard- knowing that if things went the way they were meant to go, we'd be unpacking his stuff together, not me packing it up alone and leaving it bluntly outside. I really did deserve that bottle of wine I downed as I sniffed and sobbed, packing away his red shirt, his jeans – just everything that has the faintest smell and presence of him. Of course I started to feel drunk by the first glass – even though I didn't use a glass – but it just really elevated the numbness.

He betrayed me. It was as simple as that. Worst than an affair, he downright let me down when I needed him the most. So the evidence pointed at me – but that was beyond the point. He was supposed to know me inside out. We'd spent nights together talking about ourselves the whole time. Telling each other about our every experience, no matter how embarrassing, secret or deadly it was. We exposed ourselves to each other, showing each other who we really were and how we got to be who we are. I'd nearly told him everything. Thank God I didn't tell him I loved him.

And I did love him. I loved everything about him. I knew that behind his sarcastic tone and hard guy facade, there was this guy that just wows you. Someone who takes your breath away, just to give it back and do it all over again. He was this sweet, sensitive, loving person, if you would only crack through his rough and tough protective barrier. I even loved the way he'd hide in the bathroom during the day to have a smoke and douse himself in cologne after to mask the smell. The way he'd try to eat anything I put in front of him, but somehow find a way to make it disappear when I wasn't looking. Or the way he'd try to get Fido liking him by giving him treats or extra food. Or the way he's hug into me at night when he thought I was asleep, and whisper things into my ears, kissing my forehead.

But all that didn't matter. Love is a two way system for me. And one of the rules is to trust each other with everything. I know maybe I didn't tell him about dad – but I thought my reasoning had been good enough. I hated seeing Spike trying to fix things for me that were impossible to glue back together. Laney had told him about the first stroke, and he tried to get my dad transferred to Wolfram and Hart's hospital, thinking that they might have a trick up their sleeves. And he hated magic.

So I thought that if I didn't tell him this time, I'd be protecting him from the worry. And it seemed just enough to me. I could deal with it alone. I guess that I just wanted to protect him from the worry.

And so me wanting to protect him made us break up. Again, go me! Aren't you just great at keeping something so good?

Not remembering what set me off, i found myself sobbing on the floor, clutching Spike's black t-shirt to my face and muttering something about being lost as the door was knocked on.

"S-Spike?" I mumble, getting up. Why did I mumble that? _I_ left _him_! And for a damn good reason! But part of me was hoping he we was there, ready to kiss and make up. So on my scramble for the door, I fixed myself up, pushing my hair back into place, dabbing my eyes and plastering a smile on before throwing the door open.

To find Laney beaming and pouncing on me, jumping up and down, "OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!"

Feeling slightly disappointed but none the less confused, I grabbed Laney to stop her from bouncing off the walls, "What did God do?"

"I'M PREGNANT!"

"GOD DID _WHAT?"_

* * *

"...so we went to the doctors and they said it was true too! How awesome is that?!"

"Very! Yey! I'm gonna be an Aunt! Aunty Maddy! That is very....awesome! I'll be the coolest aunty going!"

"Yo so will!'Aunty Maddy and Uncle Spike'! How cool does that – oh come on Mad! You don't need to cry! I know it's really good but-"

I sniffed, shaking my head, "I-it's not that! I-I'm just....w-we broke up."

* * *

So my first no-Spike night was spent in floods of tears and Laney explaining to me how I felt and what to do about it. Which was a resounded, 'Be free for a while, let him suffer, then have a talk and decide what you want.' Which was weird because _I_ was the one who was suffering.

As she disappeared into the morning light, I grabbed my covers from the bed and curled up on the couch, the curtains blacking out any of the sun's rays and had the TV turned on down low. So this was what depression looked like? This empty, hollow feeling? Not wanting to do anything, knowing nobody cared how you were feeling, knowing nobody would notice if you were never to leave your house again. Isn't it a preppy feeling all?

I lay back, sleeping, crying and eating alternatively, not really sure on if the past year actually happened. Maybe I was still reeling from the break up with Jamie and imagined everything in between. But surely my imagination wasn't great enough to make all that up though. And sure enough, Spike's stuff was still there in the box, glaring at me offensively.

* * *

I just watched out the window as people passed by, doing their normal night routine running home from a long day in the office and staying there for an extra few hours to get some work done. They were completely oblivious as to who was watching them as they scurried along their paths to home. They didn't even know if something sinister was around the corner they were about to turn. And they didn't even care.

"How long have you been there?"

"Long enough to know you didn't leave my stuff outside. Thanks."

Not answering or turning around, I continued looking out the window.

"You...em...I'm sorry. Maddy..I knew that...you would never-"

"It's a bit late now, isn't it?"

"Maddy, love....please just hear me out –"

Turning to face him was the hardest thing I had ever done. I wanted to cry, run to him , hug him and hurt him all at the same time. I wanted to shout, scream, bawl, forgive, forget and talk it all out. But instead I asked one simple question.

"Why?"

He frowned, shaking his head softly, "Why?"

"Why didn't you save me? You knew I would never...I could never do anything like that. I...I just want to know why, Spike. I at least deserve that."

He sat down on the edge of the couch, head in his hands, "I...I don't know. Shock maybe," Raising his head up and looking at me, he closed his eyes and paused, "I wasn't thinking. I defended you at first...and then –"

"They laid down the coincidences? It just doesn't make any sense Spike! What does Nina attacking me have anything to do with me supposedly attacking Alfie? Or did you not tell them about that?" His silence answered my question, "You didn't even tell them..."

"It just didn't make any sense!"

"So just suppose that I done it myself to frame little Miss Perfect then? And would I really _kill_ someone over paperwork? What the hell do you think of me Spike? Because it's so damn confusing! One minute you're telling me how much I mean to you then the next you don't even know who I am!"

"I was confused, ok?"

"Over what? 'Oh! Some person thinks my girlfriend killed someone! She must've done, but I still feel like having sex, so I'll just wait and see if it true or not?' you don't even know...h-how much it...killed me to have you....not even want to look at me..." Here comes the tears.

"Maddy, you don't understand...everything was against you –"

"Yeah Spike. But I didn't need you to be too," I sobbed through streams of tears and snot. I was not the most attractive person crying, and once I started it was hard to stop.

His mouth opened and closed several time, stuck on something to say, "I...I love you Maddy. I..." Shaking his head in the futility, he left, leaving his box behind.


	15. 2 Weeks Later

**UntilNeverDawns: **You'll just have to wait and see now won't you? =]

**2 weeks later**

* * *

"I ...Love you Maddy."

"I ...Love you Maddy."

"I ...Love you Maddy."

I love you too!

I love you too!

I love you too – but why did you do it? Why did you have to kill me Spike? God it hurts, it hurts so much! I love you too, so damn much but...but how can you love something that makes you hurt so badly? How can you love someone what wasn't there for you at your hour of need? When they were the one that fed the others what they needed to shut you out?

God Spike, i love you too. But why'd you have to make it damn complicated?

Curled up into a ball, I sniffed a little. I could just forget about all of it – act not bothered because my innocence would prove itself. But it wouldn't be right. I can't throw away my principles because...because I'm in love. I'm in love, but that can't stop me having dignity. I'm in love.

Why doesn't someone just come and put me out of my misery?

As if theatrically timed, a heavy pounding started at the door. Laney was the only person who was coming in and out of here, and she had a key. So it had to be someone else. So I wasn't getting up.

The door beater resumed their task, as though their mission was to turn my front door into a pile of wood chips. I didn't owe rent – I paid it last week. And last time I checked, I didn't take any drugs stronger than an aspirin. So who the hell was so convinced they needed to see me?

"Maddy!"

Oh crap. They know my name. 'They' sounded very familiar –

"Maddy! I know you're in here! Open up!"

Angel. Can't he just leave me alone to be sad?

"Maddy! If you don't open up, I'll break it-"

"What's all this? You leave that lovely girl alone, young man!"

I had to smile. I could imagine Angel trying to defend himself from Mrs. Walker, who'd probably be swinging her bag around furiously and threatening to call the police. So you can understand my complete disappointment when Mrs Walker began to knock the door down herself.

"Maddison, dear! We just want to know if you're ok! Come and open up the door for your poor old neighbour."

How can you be stubborn to that?

Getting up, i brushed a hand through my tangled hair and pulled Spike's black shirt into shape. Ok...I know it's really weird to have his shirt on, but it made me feel closer to him. And black was supposedly slimming, and with all the junk I'd been eating in the past two weeks, I needed to look slim to feel good about myself. Not that that was happening.

I opened the door to see Mrs Walker smiling victoriously and Angel brooding behind. His arms were crossed over his chest as he glared at me as I got hugged by Mrs Walker.

"We were so worried about you dear – oh! When was the last time you washed that hair of yours? When was the last time you washed yourself?! It's not very attractive dear! You're single now! You should be dressing yourself up and hoping a lovely young man," She glanced over her shoulder, "Comes knocking on your door. Oh look at your house! And all this junk you're eating! All over a boy! Oh Maddy, when will you see the light of day and realise he wasn't worth it?" She dashed around, starting to clean up for me, Angel still standing outside, eyebrow raised.

"What do you want?"

"I know it wasn't you. We need your help."

I looked at him. And laughed, "My God! This is rich! _You_ need _my_ help! After everything you've all done? You have the _audacity_ to come here and ask me for help? Can you wait there while I slam the door in your face?"

"Maddison! Be nice to the poor gentalman! You should help him out if he needs it! Go on! You need to get out of this place anyway!"

"I'm starting to like her..." Angel murmured, watching her grab up some chocolate wrappers and shove them into the Chinese carton before throwing them in the trash.

"Oh! You really don't need to do that Mrs-"

"I do! This is a health hazard! If I didn't get here by today, I'm pretty sure all of this could have grown legs and cleaned itself!"

"I'm sure she feels so much better now that I'm here M'am. If you...um ...don't mind...I'd like to ask Maddy something. In private."

Looking from me to Angel, Mrs Walker grinned, "Oh! Of course! I'll just leave you two to it!" She said, scurrying out of the house.

"So I can slam the door now?"

Shrugging, Angel leaned against the doorframe, not being able to come inside without my inivtaion. It was enough for me to have opened the door to him. I wasn't going to invite him in, "That'll be up to you. But you gotta know this at least. Nina's been kidnapped –"

"Good riddance."

"-And we think that whoever kidnapped her will be the one who's responsible for all of this. All of it."

I looked at him for a second, "All-"

"Everything. Even the way Nina's been acting. We noticed."

After stewing on it for a few seconds, I sighed, "Come in."

* * *

"So what you're saying is..Nina took some...drug things, went loco and decided she didn't like me, framed me for murder....and tried to jump bones with you? And got kidnapped by her dealer? This....makes sense how?"

"It's all we know," Angel said, gingerly sitting on my couch that still had my covers on it, and was piled up with tear covered tissues, "We're still trying to find out exactly what the drug was, but, when you were attacked, Spike said he found a glass vial near you. We're analysing it and...we still don't know anything yet. It would've been quicker if Fred was still here."

I nodded understandingly, "So I'm in the clear. How'd you gather that?"

"Fur. On the body. Wolf fur."

"Oh. Thank God for fur. Woulda been hung drawn and quartered otherwise-"

"Maddy...we-"

"No! 'We' nothing! You guys are my friends. You should know I wouldn't ever do anything lie that!"

"With Wolfram & Hart being in control, we have to suspect everyone. Lorne, Gunn, Wes, Spike...even me. No one's aloud out of the limelight. They're playing with our mind, trying to split us up. And...guess with the whole you and Spike...it just dug deeper. Made us all argue. I'm sorry Maddy....but we can never be too sure."

I nodded a little, "I get it. I understand."

"Thanks. I um...guess you and Spike aren't-"

"You guessed right, "I sighed, starting to clean up my own mess myself.

Hesitantly, Angel whispered, "He's taking it hard. He did try to tell us. He even told us about your dad."

I nodded, "That's good."

Sighing, Angel got up, "He really does love you Maddy. I've seen him with someone for a hundred years, and he's not even been half as happy with her as he has been with you. Just...think about it. Is it really worth losing it all just for...something so –"

"Thanks Angel. Now if you don't mind I have some cleaning to do."

Nodding, he found his way to the door, "There's a meeting on Thursday night. 9. At Spike's. Somewhere Wolfram and Hart won't be watching," he left, leaving a little hope behind.

Cracking open a window to let some stale air out, I felt so much better. They had their reasons, and I respected that. They would've done it to any of them – it was being cautious. And Spike pulled me out from their line of fire. Suddenly, I had the feeling someone gave me pardon before strapping me down to Old Sparky, just before the switch was flipped.

And dear God, it felt good.


	16. This Makes For Smashing TV!

**AN:** I know that I haven't updated in a while, but I had good reasons. One of them being prelims (mocks) and the second being access to a laptop. Now that have the latter (my very own one too!), I can update when I have the time! Thanks for being so patient and taking the time to actually read the damn thing!

**..BITCH.: **I like to listen to those that matter to me - especially when they give such praise. I BEG you to keep writing that Fan-Fic! I want – nay!- NEED to read it! Get typing girl!

**L.M Gray:** I you back with the reply – but I _will_ edit my work sometime in the near future.

**Xxdarkvampireangelxx:** YEY! New reviewer!!!!

Hope you all enjoy!

**That Makes For Smashing TV!**

* * *

It was a great feeling, not being as depressed as before. Angel had reassured me of everyone's friendship, and that it wasn't just me that was suffering from the aftermath of the break-up. It wasn't that I wanted Spike to suffer (although, I have to admit, part of me wants him to hurt real bad), but it was good to know that he was feeling the same way. It meant he was missing me. And I love that fact.

I guess we hadn't talked since the meeting in the living room, and if anything, time increases the awkwardness around the situation. I would need to talk to him sometime soon, tell him I've forgiven him and the gang for the situation and I understand what was going on with the surrounding circumstances. Not get back togther, of course. It would be one hell of a long process before that'll happen again. Maybe the relationship was going to fast in the first place. I'd never been in this type of relationship before - one where we'd told each other everything and nothing and all the stuff inbetween. And Spike told me no one'ld ever been sane enough to actually want to be with only him. So while I missed him like an older lady missing the bus, I just had to sit and wait for the next one. And hope that the destination is right this time.

I was still a bit raw from it all, wondering why and when I became so accepting of everything. Two years ago I would've laughed if someone told me I was going to fall in love with a vampire and have a whole bunch of demonic related pals. But here I was, ready to forgive my blood sucking, fanged boss for accusing me of a murder that was committed by a werewolf. Either I was terminally insane, or insanely accepting.

The wounds were still trying to heal, however, and my self-esteem had hit rock bottom. It's no everyday someone's called a murderer and feels proud of it, especially when the didn't have anything to do with the matter. Keeping myself busy to stop myself from worrying about the imminent meeting at Spike's with everyone, I done anything that came to mind. Cleaning. Updating my iPod. Watching TV. Shopping. Reading books I never got round to reading. Reading baby books. I can now navigate my way around any pregnant woman's uterus, tell her how far along she is and probably help the doctor deliver the kid. It certainly was one up from the dull thud of missing Spike. Which, of course, Laney had to pull right out from under me.

"What about this?" She asked, putting a Winnie the Pooh baby suite up to her sill rather flat stomach, beaming, "It's great right?! And you should just wait and see the little shoes!"

"Isn't it a bit early for all this?" I asked, patting Fido's head. He's been really pissed off with me in the past few weeks, taking up his space on the couch and not giving him the attention he so rightly deserves, so I had to make it up to him somehow.

"Early? There's never early when it comes to getting stuff for a baby, Maddy! Do you know how much I need to get? I just got the cot - and then I need bedding, covers, clothes - everything!" She sat down, frowning a little, "God….it's a hell of a lot. I might not have the time to-"

Putting my arm around her to calm her down before the nervous breakdown started, I hugged her into me, "You'll get everything in time. Don't you worry. We'll all pitch in. And you can have me baby-sit while you go to college. We'll go shopping sometime for more stuff and- wait. Who gave you the money?"

She stiffened, but tried to keep cool, "What money?"

I frowned. She was a psychology student - she told me all about lying and how to tell the signs, "Laney - who the hell gave you that money? Please don't tell me it was a loan shark-"

"Maddy - don't be stupid! I…..I got it from Spike-"

"WHAT?!" I stood up, Fido leaping off my knee and running to safety of the kitchen, "You did what?!?"

Shaking her head furiously, Laney looked at her feet, "I…I bumped into him and -"

"He went round to see you! Didn't he?!"

"O-only to find out how you were! But-"

"You're whoring me out! You're giving him info on me for money!"

"I am not!" She shouted, getting up and being actively defensive now, "He came over to find out how you were and ask about how I was doing! And I told him! He gave the money as a gift-where are you going?!"

Ignoring her story, I'd decide already on what I was going to do. I grabbed my jacket and keys. He was _not _going to feed on my little sister's college and mother-to-be poverty.

"I'm gonna kick his ass!"

"Maddy! No-"

* * *

I was furious. He was basically using my sister as a spy on me! I hammered his door, punching my fists on them frantically, rather like how I wanted to do to him. The rage was building up as I thundered my fists to the wooden frame. He was such a bastard! Spying on me - maybe he wanted his stuff back. As soon as I got home, I was devising a plan to bleach and cut up everything. Bye-bye black shirt!

"Aright! I'm coming! Keep your bloody knickers on-" Opening the door, Spike continued to button up his shirt, hair messed up from sleep.

Crap. I wasn't as angry now. And I realised my hair wasn't as ordered as it could be. And my mouth was dry. Crap - why was my mouth dry?

"Maddy…." He murmured, looking at me in my confused stated.

"You gave her money."

Frowning, he nodded, "It was just to help her out-"

"You asked her about me."

Moving to the side to let me in, Spike nodded, "I…wanted to know how you were-"

Staying on the other side of the door, I looked at him, conflicted of my emotions. It hurt even more to see him, making me realise just how much I really was missing him. Even before we started seeing each other, he was a big part of my life. We shared an office together, saw each other everyday, exchanged news over the what the latest trouble at Wolfram and Hart was. It was a huge void he had left. But I'd only seen the smallest part of it.

"You couldn't just ask me?"

He ran a hand through his hair, pulling my the small locks that sprung up manically from his forehead, "You didn't want to see me again. Remember?" Looking down, he sighed, shaking his head. His hurting was tangible. Behind him, his house was spotless. Cleaner than it ever was when we were together. The cloudy smell of smoke was replaced with a fresh pine. So he was at the same stage as me then.

Silence rang through-out the hall, as we tried to steal glimpses of each other without out each other seeing.

"Do you….want to come in?"

"I….don't know. I guess we need to talk."

Nodding, Spike opened his mouth to say something, but closed it again, deciding against it. He closed the door behind me, looking at me stand unsurely in the middle of the living room.

"I…I don't know exactly what to say…" I murmured, chuckling a little. I bit the inside of my mouth as I felt the tingling sensation beginning behind my eyes that I got before crying, "I'm…sorry. For the way I acted -"

"It's alright, love. I would've done the same."

I nodded a little, "But I'm still angry."

"You have every right to be."

"I don't wanna be angry any more though Spike," I sniffed, "I'm fed up of being alone again. And I hate missing you. But…but it's never gonna be the same."

He moved over to stand in front of me, taking one of my hands in his and looking at it carefully, "I know."

He traced this finger over the lines in my palms, the big, deep grooves and the smaller interlinking crosses, "I hate missing you too."

"I…I don't think we could-"

Brushing a finger over the curve of my lips, Spike looked up at me, his eyes slightly glossy in the thought of another loss, "Just don't say it. And we can go back to being friends. We'll….just act like it never happened. And start again"

Trying to smile, I shook my head gently, "I don't think it'll work out. I want it too- so much! - but it just won't be the same."

He pulled back a little, nodding, "You're right. It'll be different. It'll be better. I swear-"

"Spike-"

"I swear this time…it'll be better. I'll be better."

"You can't promise that-"

"I can!" he looked at me desperately, grabbing up my hands, his piercing blue eyes looking at me in hope, "I can. Because…because I love you."

I looked away, focusing my attention on the green walls, "Please don't-"

"But…I need you. I love you, Maddy."

A knock on the door saved me from answering. After a few seconds of silence, I left Spike's hold and let Angel, Wes, Gunn, Lorne and Illyria inside.

"Were we interrupting anything here, Sugarpuff?" Lorne asked, frowning at Spike's solemn expression.

"No...I just arrived a bit early…" I smiled, letting them in.

Feeling the strain in the air, Angel looked at me, then Spike, and back to me again, "We found out she must've taken some type of aggravator. It make's her animal instincts stronger. But we want to know why she took them, where she got it from and who gave it to her."

"There was that vial next to Maddy."

"Vial?" Wes asked, fixing his glasses.

"Spike…said he found some broken glass thing next to my body. I don't know…"

"So she had it with her then…" Gunn murmured, "She's taking it by choice. But didn't she want to be normal?"

Illyria moved over to Spike and sniffed him, "My pet is tormented." Seeing us all look at her expectantly, she continued, "I can smell the hostility in the air. And yet the wish to copulate with one another."

I reddened.

"Illyria -" Wesley started, but once again was cut off by the God King.

"Does the situation oppress you, pet? In my world, what we desire becomes actions of the most magnificent magnitudes. Universes crumbled, lives shattered like glass and we laughed as we killed what the humans called their idols, destroying them one cell at a time. Yet here the simples want of mating has been hindered by the mortality of a single person. Do you not here realise the futility of your simple existence?"

"So, we've established that these two star-crossed lovers want to knock boots," Lorne joked after an awkward silence, clapping his hands together, "Should we get back to cracking this case?"

"I think I've already cracked it," Angel, murmured, a thoughtful expression on his face, "Well…Gunn did."

Gunn frowned, "I did?"

Having it dawn upon him, Wesley smiled, "I see your point. Do you think she-"

"She was desperate enough."

"Then we just need to find out who tricked her."

"Anyone gonna tell me what it is? Or do we have to guess?" Gunn asked, frowning.

"Nah. They like it cryptic," Spike murmured, shaking his head and throwing Gunn a can of beer, giving me a can of coke, his hand lingering on mine for a moment too long, "What's the news peaches?"

"We think she might've took a potion. To make her human."

* * *

Angel shook his head, standing behind Wes and watching over his shoulder, "We don't even know where she could be-" hearing a smash and Spike yelling, Angel sighed, "Gunn? Could you-"

"I'm on it. ILLYRIA! PUT THE TV DOWN!"

Aggravated, Spike emerged from his room, very obviously pissed off, "You owe me a new TV, Peaches."

"Whatever'll keep you quiet."

"Well…I'll make a list," He sat down on his couch, shaking his head slightly before getting up, going over to the fridge and getting another beer before sitting down again.

"It's getting late…I'm just gonna head home…" I murmured, grabbing my coat as the room drew silent.

"Already Sugarpuff? Well…it is dark out. All kinds of nasties lurking around there. Spike, maybe you should walk her home?" Lorne suggested innocently.

Looking at me, Spike shrugged sourly, "It's up to her."

"I'll be fi-"

"She can't go home alone. What if something bad happens to her again?" Way to go Lorne, feeding on my fears. I started to doubt my walking capabilities.

Sighing, Spike got up, "I'll walk 'er home. Need to talk anyway."

Great. Now I'm doubting my talking skills.

* * *

We walked in silence for the first few minutes, keeping at a safe distance from one another, until I talked up.

"It's a nice night," I stated feebly.

"Why can't this work again?" Spike asked, anger hidden in his voice, "'Cause you didn't tell me back there. And don't give me any of that 'Just because' shit."

"Cause I'll always use it against you. If we argue, or if I want something from you, you know I'll use it. And it'll tear us apart at some point. That's the way these type of things work. So it's better like this."

Grabbing my hand, he stopped me from walking, pulled me towards him, pressing my body to him. A huge wave swept over me, and an old fire started to light again. He looked down at me, his eyes x-raying into my mind, my thoughts and desires again. Lowering his mouth to mine, his hands found there home again around my waist. And then his lips met mine.

The old spark of electricity ran through me again, and I got into motion, my hand moving up to the back of his neck, fingers playing with the tiny tendrils of hair there, back into my old habits again.

Spike pulled his lips back from mine, his forehead pressed against mine, "You can't tell me that there's nothing there."

"It's not that easy Spike."

"I know. But this is worth it. We'll go slow. We'll work at it. But it's worth it. You're worth it."

Smiling a little, I pressed my lip to his once more before pulling away quickly, "I love you."

I ran off, promising to call him when I got home to tell him I'm safe. Things are back on track.


	17. Nina's Demise

**AN: This chapter takes place 2 days before the chapter '2 weeks Later' and shows how Angel found out about Nina being missing.**

**Nina's Demise**

* * *

_2 days before **'2 weeks later'**_

Holding her nose to get rid of the taste, Nina downed her last vial. She'll have to go back and see the doctor again. She didn't feel any different - if anything her sex drive had sky rocketed. Of course she was slightly embarrassed about the Angel scenario. It would've been nicer just to ask him if he wanted to got out for drink sometime rather than suck his face off. But of course, being ever the gentleman, Angel put it down to her primal instincts trying to break through.

Grabbing her keys, Nina decided to go see the doctor. She'd been on the wolfs bane for a while now. Maybe she couldn't feel it, but the changes were happening anyway. Her memory fails her when the transformation happens, so she could be becoming more docile. Who knows?

Telling er sister she was going to wander round the shops for a while, Nina left, Heading out for the doctors home.

* * *

"What are you doing here, Eve?" Angel growled, not looking up from the mound of paperwork that sat before him. He wasn't actually doing any of the work, but was contemplating the Nina situation. What on earth had made her do that? And why did he kiss her back, exactly? Of course he liked Nina. Well, maybe a bit more than liked - but nothing could come from it. Soon she'd want more from him than he can give, and things would turn ugly. So what exactly was going on?

Stopping a few meters shy of his desk, Eve stood ever defiantly before him, "Only what I've been told to do from the big uys, boss. If it were up to me, I'd tell 'em to email. But, from the lack of computer on your desk, I'm guessing you never grasped that concept -"  
"Why did they send you again? To annoy the hell outta me?"

"I don't think so. You have your blonde haired pal to do that for you. No, the enchiladas sent me to alert you of some events taking place. Something to do with your wolf-friend," Eve smiled professionally, then shrugged, "But it seems you got your hands full there with…what? Telling some poor family about another ritual sacrifice?"

Angel was standing by the time Eve uttered 'wolf' and had been clutching his fists since 'friend', "What's happened to Nina?"

"They didn't tell me much. Just that you've to watch the 6 o'clock news. And you're not to call her sister," turning on her heel, Eve stood at the door, "Oh. And you might want someone to teach you what the vial means. Maybe your platinum haired friend of yours can clarify."

* * *

_Present Day_

It was the smell that brought her round. The thick smell of B.O, dust and damp mingling in the air. It was disgusting. Did she get ill and not wake up for a year or something? God, it was horrendous.

Opening her eyes, Nina was confused. That ceiling was definitely not hers. In no way, shape or form could she remember what had happened. She didn't get drunk and stay at some random guys house. She wasn't that type of girl. But recently, with her sex drive being the way it is, she couldn't rule out that possibility. But even when she was drunk, and that wasn't often, she'd never go out with a guy that smells this bad. So why exactly couldn't she sit up? Or move her arms and legs?

Then the panic set in, as did the memory. The vials. She'd finished her medicine, went back for a refill of them. And then Alistair got weird. He'd pottered about, inviting her to a cup of tea. It tasted strange, but she supposed it was Earl Grey or something. Then she got sleepy.

Damn. This was all set up! Angel warned her of the supernatural stuff being dangerous. And when she tried to get rid of it, it tried to kill her. He must've had this set up from the start. And here she was, tied down to…a table? She tapped her fingers on the surface she was lying on, wincing at the hollow bell it gave out. Yes. It was definitely a table. Metal and hollow at that. Which meant that Mr Miller didn't use rope - she could freely arch her back from the table. It was just her wrists and ankles being held down.

Damn it. No one knew where she was.

Nina was royally screwed.


	18. Miss Polly and the Panther

**AN:**Upon much debate (with myself) on wither or not I should write a scene of the not most pristine nature between our two love birds, I have come (no pun intended) up with a conclusion. In this chapter, and the following throughout the rest of the fan-fiction, I've decided to keep it at it's usual rating. And those of my saucier readers (don't shake your head at me! _You _wanted to read it!) can get their goods on a new fan-fiction. It will just be a repeat of the chapter involved with the scene added and it won't effect the story line that much. If anyone suggests otherwise, and that I should add it to the main body of the text, then that may just happen. Just now, however, is a different story.

**Miss Polly and the Panther.**

* * *

Gunn read through the legal documents of Sherftner vs. Michaelson, nothing going in. All the technical terms flew past him, whirring up in front of him and blurring his vision. Months before, he would've been out on the streets, doing what he does best, him and the gang by Angel's side, staring evil in the face and blowing it's chunky ass up. He missed that adrenaline rush, his secret addiction to the natural fix he got when he knew he was going to save the world again. Instead, here he was, trying to decipher whatever he wrote down 5 days before. It looked like him and Nina had more in common than he thought.

Pulling of his black tie, he leaned back in his chair, sighing. He needed a break. And he needed a lead into the Nina situation. So it was off to see a Panther.

* * *

I puffed up my hair a little, fluffing up my currently flat hair as I straightened it. Pouting at the mirror, and trying out several smiles before checking my teeth for any remains of my lunch, I deemed myself satisfied with my appearance. I wasn't normally one of those vain, slut up type of girls - when me and Spike were last going out, most of my outfits consisted of his boxers and my shirts or my office suite. And I wasn't slutting up now. I was...making myself more appealing to Spike.

I grabbed my purse and coat, planning to make a surprise visit to Wolfram and Hart to see him and see if he could maybe finish early to go for a drink. While I did promise myself that I'd never again enter that office, I wasn't officially entering my old office. Just the building my office was situated in. And I didn't make any promises on that. Making excuse to justify my spur of the moment attempt to see Spike once again, I opened the door, only to jump five meters in the air.

"Sorry love. Thought I'd give you a wee surprise," Spike smiled, holding my arms, almost stopping my palpations. After pressing his lips against mine, run his hands down my arms and looked me up and down, "You're all dressed up. Not interrupting anything, am I?"

I shook my head gently, nuzzling my nose against his,

"I was coming out to see you..."

"Nice to know I'm thought of," wrapping his arms around my waist, his hands resting on my backside.

"You know, for taking this slow, we're not doing very well," I murmured, brushing my lips against his.

Chuckling, Spike shrugged, "We've got back together. We can slow it down later."

"Mmm...I can work with that," I smiled, rubbed his cheek and kissed him slowly, re-exploring his mouth, "We can certainly do some things slowly anyway."

I heard a gasp, an 'oh dear!' and inaudible mutterings to follow as Mrs Mansfield walked into the hall, carrying her garbage.

Turning around, Spike gave his charismatic signature smile, holding my hand.

"Evenin' Miss Mansfield. Lemme do that for you," after pecking my forehead, he took Mrs Mansfield's bags.

She blushed, "Oh....t-thank you dear. It's _Mrs _Mansfield actually."

His jaw dropped incredulously as he walked down the hall with her. Winking back at me, he feigned shock, "You're married? No...no! You're too young for that. Just broke my heart you did..."

I smiled as flirted with her, watching him use his charming smile and pleasing comments on her, while she exclaimed that she hadn't seen such flattery since Mr Mansfield passed.

"Maddison was very sore when you left, did you know that, William?" She murmured loudly as they returned from their trip.

"I know. And I've promised not to hurt her like that again, Polly. Not until I know I've got your heart anyway."

Her pale cheeks turned another violent shade of red, "You have to keep your eye on this one, Maddison!"

I nodded, "Yes, m'am. Not letting him leave my sight."

Nodding, 'Miss' Mansfield disappeared into her house, muttering something about young men in her day.

"_William?!?" _I asked, my jaw practically on the floor.

"Well I could hardly tell 'er my name's Spike. Poor old biddy would take a fit!" he laughed, taking my hand and leading me inside.

"You're such a flirt! I didn't even know her name was Polly! I thought it was 'Mrs'!" I laughed, pulling off my jacket and hanging it up.

"I made her day though, right?" Spike mused, shrugging off his leather coat and putting it beside mine on the hangers near the door, "You should've seen her face when I asked her if she was in her late 30's."

Pulling him closer, I furrowed my brows comically, pursing my lips, "Tell me you want me. Not Polly."

Sighing heavily, Spike shook his head, "Not making any promises. I mean, there's definitely something there for her- OW!" his jaw dropped in mock shock, rubbing his arm after I tapped it lightly, "Polly would never raise her hands to me!"

Snorting, I shook my head, pulling on the ends of his t-shirt, "Just say it, William."

Pulling me closer, Spike looked down at me, his playful expression changing into something more meaningful, the seriousness written all over his pale complexion. Pressing me gently up against the cream wall of the hall, he brushed my hair away from my neck, tenderly brushing it behind the curve of my ear. My heart beat quickened, my breath feeling shallow in my throat, finding it hard to get to my lungs before its exhaled again, giving me that heady, knee wobbly feeling. His face lowered to mine, his hands running down my arms until they reached my hands and interlinked his rough, war hardened, calloused fingers in mine.

Finally reaching my ear, he brushed his nose and lips against it delicately, and whispered softly, "You're the only one I want, Maddy."

My hands unlocked from his to rest on his shoulders as he pulled back from my ear, one of them sliding up to his cheek, rubbing his cheek bone. I smiled, "Good. You had me worried there."

* * *

My once beautifully straightened hair was now muffed up, and I tried desperately to fix it out as Spike lead me angrily to Angel's office. It was safe to say he was pissed. Angel had interrupted him just as we were about to conduct activities that were at least NC-17, and to be quite frank, I wasn't exactly in the best of moods now.

"This better be good," he growled, slamming the door closed behind him.

Lorne looked at me and Spike, a smile blossoming on his face. He knew his work as Cupid succeeded. I really needed to thank him sometime.

"Oh, it is," Gunn replied from the edge of Angel's desk, "We happened to find out when it'll all go down."

"What will go down, exactly?" I asked, confused.

Angel looked out of the window, determination and fear on his face, "Nina's biopsy."

Spike frowned, "They told you? Ransom note?"

"No," Gunn pointed up at the ceiling, "Panther."

"So it's safe to say Wolfram and Hart aren't happy with the situation," Wesley mused, looking at Angel, but directing his question to Gunn "Did they give you anything else?"

"Miller. I looked him up already. He-"

"Was an ex-council member," Wesley finished, "I was there when they threw him out. He was a radical. He wanted to experiment on the demons. Like the Initiative. Only, Miller wanted to inform the public. Have them actively help."

Lorne frowned, "Why didn't they go along with it? I mean, I wouldn't like some guy poking around my delicates, but if it's gonna help the Slayer-"

"The Council are traditionalists. Their job is to train their Slayers and chronicle their lives. Anything else comes second. Which is why I left."

"Do you think it would've helped?" Angel asked, turning back to the group after his brood.

Wesley frowned, "To have people panic and accuse each other of being demons? No. It would only cause chaos."

A look exchanged between Angel and Wesley - the two men who had lost their loves.

"Did you find out Miller's whereabouts?" Spike asked, relieving us of the tension.

"He left up the website Nina must've used. Pretty stupid if you ask me. Just on the outskirts of town. Conduit said we have to wait till he's dropped his guard. I'm guessing it'll be under the full moon."

"So what do we do?" I asked, "Do we have a plan?"

Angel nodded, "Yeah. We kill the son of a bitch."


	19. The Lost Art of Negotations

**AN:** Well dears...the end is near. After this, we have one more chapter to go. It's been an awsome few years, and I've loved all of your reviews and support. I hope you've all enjoied keeping up to date with Maddy and Spike! But now....let's get fiction-ing!

**The Lost Art of Negotations.**

* * *

Angels' plan seemed fool proof. After finding out exactly how long it would take us to get to Miller's, it was just a case of suiting up and diving in to rescue the damsel of distress. Something Angel's all too good at.

So as I grabbed my coat on the arm of his couch, I was surprised to see everyone barricading the door.

"Um...I won't tell anyone anyone our plan?" I shrugged, confused. It's amazing how confused I get around these guys.

"It ain't that. But don't tell anyone it anyways," Gunn agreed.

"We...have a proposition."

"One we know you can't refuse, pet."

I frowned, looking at Spike, "You're in on..what ever this is?"

He nodded, a smug look on his face, "Was my bloody idea. They want you back. Working here."

"Well...that's really nice 'n' all...but-"

"Don't say 'but' Sugarpuff. You're gonna like it."

"-I'm not being bribed back here."

"We're offering you a promotion. Co-head of department."

I hesitated, mulling it over, shaking my head, "Do I get a raise?"

"25%-" Wesley started.

"50."

"50 it is," Angel shrugged.

"Bigger office?"

"Only to match your bigger salary, " Gunn quipped.

"Longer holidays and breaks. My own assistant - oh! And all the benefits you and anyone else can think of."

Spike smirked, "That's my girl. Knows how to take advantage!"

* * *

I looked around my new office, trying to put my hours of watching interior design shows to good use. Unfortunately, not a lot had settled in, as per usual. What I did know however, was that I loved it!

A huge dark reddish brown shiny desk commanded the attention of the room. A computer was on the desk along with a phone and a desk lamp. It had enough space for me to ad my own things, but provided me with the basics. A few pieces of art and a couch opposite the desk - it was perfect. Heck, it was nearly the size of my apartment, minus some slight exaggeration.

It deserved the full blown victory dance. Making sure I drew the blinds, I squealed and then commenced my trial at the moon walk across the dark laminated flooring, waving my arms wildly above my head like a mad woman. This was superb!

"Well...this is just a treat," Spike quipped, one again leaning against the frame of a door.

"Oh, come on! This time it was totally justified!"

Shrugging, Spike came in and sat down on the edge of my desk, playing with the stationary in my desk tidy, "Well...that is true. You ready for the full moon? 2 days to go."

"Yeah," I nodded, "Just confused why we need to wait for the full moon though."

"Well, Miller's gonna be busy preparing for cuttin' her up. So we might catch him off guard. And if she's wolfin' out, means the tranquilisers won't have such a bad effect on her. I mean, her human side'll be out for a year if we used it on her. Wolf side? Few hours, tops."

"Wow...it must be tough. Being half human."

"Burden we have to bare, love," Spike shrugged again, "Always the good lookin' ones."

I smiled a little, going over to him and taking my pen out of his hand, placing it back into the safety of the desk tidy, although he just took a pencil out instead, "Guess that explains some stuff then."

"Like?"

"Oh...just a certain vampire slayer."

Putting down the pencil he picked up, he looked at me, "You've been reading up on me."

I nodded, moving around the table and sitting in my new leather seat, "Ah....now _this_ is comfort...."

"When?"

"Few months back. One night when we were just talking...you said something about how 'women in your life were complicated'," my middle and index fingers made small quotation marks, "Guess you didn't want to talk about it. However, you know how nosey I am. So I looked up in books. Found out about-"

"Buffy. And Dru I'm guessing," he sighed when I nodded, "You coulda just asked. The books don't tell you how important you are to me now."

"No. But they were very vivid in their descriptions of what you done for them. Nearly got killed for both of them. Got a soul for a slayer. I mean, it's clear you love her-"

"And it's not clear that I love you? Do I have to go out in the sun to prove it?"

"No. But you didn't turn your back on them either."

"Kinda like what you're doing to me now?"

"I'm not-" I growled out of frustration, running my hands through my hair, pulling my fingers roughly through the tugs, "Are we gonna use this against each other all the time? Is this how it's gonna be for us? Happy one minute, arguing the next?"

"Not if we decide to get over it. Can we both do that?"

I sighing, nodded reluctantly, "I'm gonna have to. Can't go back to being all depressed because you're not taking up space in bed..." Looking up, I caught the smile in his eye, forcing me to smile back.

Taking my hands in his, Spike nodded, "Good. 'Cause mine is like sleeping on concrete."

I smiled a little, leaning over to give him a peck, "I love you."

Brushing the pad of his thumb delicately over my cheek, Spike smiled, "I love you too. Let's go home, hm?"


	20. Of Tranquilisers and DogPeople

**AN:** Again, a final thanks to all those who have stayed with me in this fanfiction. You've all made major contributions in pushing me to finish something I never thought I'd get through. Millions of thanks and love to you all! You never know when you might see Mad-dog and Boo again... =]

**Of Tranquilisers and Dog-People.**

* * *

In approximately 3 hours and 17 minutes, the full moon would be at it's peak in the sky. By that time, according to Angel's plan and with the hope that all would go well, we should have located Nina, drugged her up with horse tranquilisers and have her safely on the way back home.

So what do you think I was up to? Target practice. I was holding a gun. A gun that would soon be filled with horse tranquilisers.

"Lift it up a bit..." Spike instructed, pointing the barrel of the gun a little higher, "Make sure it's in your line of sight."

"It's heavy! And I can't aim to-"

"Stop talking and shoot."

Pulling the trigger, the water filled syringe dart flew out of the gun and hit the white padding of the training room. The kick back of the gun flew me to my backside.

Catching me before I hit the floor, Spike sighed, "Maybe I should leave you at home, pet."

"No! I want to go! I wanna be part of this! I just...need more practice. And a smaller gun. Or a blow dart! I think I can do that."

Frowning, Spike gently shook his head, "I don't this so, love. You'll probably swallow it."

Getting up, I brushed myself down, "Please? Just let me try again. What if...one day I'm out? And I need to protect myself? You'll regret no teaching me right now! It can be something we do together! Sparring! Mutual patrolling of the grounds-"

"You had me at 'protect'. Just...don't depend on going. Ok?"

"I'll try not to. Oh! Maybe you can show me how to do a back flip! I always wanted to do one of those! Please, Boo?"

"Not right now. We have - Boo? Since when did you start calling me 'Boo'?"

"Um...since now. You need a nickname. And well...you're dead. Dead people...ghosts...boo. And there was that time that I...um...called you Boo when you weren't....corporeal."

Picking up a stake and tossing it to me, Spike frowned, "That was _you_? You know how long it took me to live down that name? Angel was angry when he heard I threatened his Ops."

"Well...it was funny. And there was a cute guy there that I was trying to impress, " seeing his eyebrows knot together, I quickly added, "Nothing happened though! I swear! So! What is _this_ for?" I asked, showing him the stake and changing the subject.

"Gonna teach you how to use it. It's small...so it's easy to control and hide. And you can't do much damage with it. So you're little mistakes won't hurt much. Not until you're trained anyway.

Twirling the stake in my hand, I yawned, "You finished your speech yet, babe?"

He frowned, his eyes wide, "You know -"

"I lived in New York, hun. It's drummed into you since Kindergarten. Wanna test me out?" I asked, smiling broadly and getting into a fighting stance. Little known to him, when I was 15 I went to Tae Kwon Do classes for two years. Didn't get any belts - as my mom refused to let me go to any tests - but I thought I was pretty good at it.

"Don't wanna hurt you love...but if you insist."

Throwing a punch, Spike grabbed my fist, twisted my arm up my back into a police hold, and pushed me up against the padded walls. I gasped as I felt his fangs brush against my neck, sliding down to the skin behind my collar bone.

"Consider yourself dead, love. And extremely turned on."

I nodded in agreement, cheek pressed up against the white padded walls, trying so desperately hard not to beg him to do me right there. It took all of my self control, and just as I was about to cave, Gunn saved me through the intercom.

"If you guys are done with...your violent representation of your sexual aggression, Angel's upstairs. He wants to make sure we're all ready and head on out."

Not letting me go, Spike nodded, "Tell 'im we'll be up in an hour."

"More like 15 minutes..." I murmured.

Gunn spluttered and Spike let me go, glaring at me slightly, "I really am startin' to consider that biting thing, Mad."

Fixing myself, I put the stake away and dragged Spike out by the hand, "Later, Boo. We don't want poor Gunn to see that."

A grin spread over Gunn face and I just waited for it to burst, "'Boo'?"

* * *

"Me and Spike'll go in first. We'll scout the area. If you don't hear anything, then assume it's safe and we're still going on. Amy shouting or screaming from Nina or 'Boo'...come right in with guns firing and get Nina out."

Spike glared at Gunn, "You just wait, Charlie Boy."

"What? I didn't-"

"That was me. It only seemed fair with all the Peaches' jokes," I defended myself as Spike's blue eyes stared me down.

"And Maddy has provided us with adequate blackmail. I doubt you will be eating any of out lunches now."

"You _ate_ Wesley's lunch?"

"Can we discuss this later?" Angel asked, exasperated, "He drinks my blood all the time too."

* * *

The car ride was silent all the way to the hostage place, a small secluded and rather battered house that was lacking a gardener, a lick of paint and decorators. After giving Spike a kiss and urging him to be safe and keep behind Angel at all times, I reluctantly let him go.  
Wesley pulled up behind us with Gunn and Illyria a few seconds after Angel and Spike's disappearance into the house of the ex-watcher.  
"You care for the half-breed."  
"It's called 'love', Illyria," Gunn slipped in, fiddling around with the gun in his hand, "Try it sometime."  
"'Love'. An intolerable excuse to live. You both loved my shell. And yet look at you. Still here and living without her. Or is it just the shell you care for? I have hollowed her out, eviscerated every trace of the mortals soul. Yet her thoughts and feelings still remain. She 'loved' you both. But the ending of this 'love' of her hasn't stopped when she seizes to be. This 'love' is nothing more than a fascination. An infatuation of the humans so that they become attached to one another. A menial reason to carry on with their pitiful existences. How does this make you feel? Would it appease you if I assumed her form?" Illyria morphed into Fred, the bright, beautiful Fred. She looked just like her, clothing and all. But her eyes didn't have the same bright, warm glint, "Are any of you now in love? Do you feel reason enough not to fill yourself with toxins?" Illyria directly challenged Wes, sizing him up still as Fred.  
Wes wavered. He looked as if he were torn somewhere between slapping or kissing Illyria, "Don't you dare take her form again. You have no-"  
"Wesley, " I grabbed his arm, seeing where this was going as Illyria's bright blue eyes pierced into him and she fisted her hands, "I think it's time to go in, "I gestured to Gunn who was already ahead of us, deciding not to get involved with Illyria this time, "Look....some time soon...I'll teach her how to act normal. I might need some time off work...but I'll do it."  
Without answering, he charged onwards, following Gunn up the stairs.  
"You claim that you will teach me the ways of humans."  
I looked back at Illyria, who was now back in her usual form, glaring at me. Nodding, I sighed, "If you're willing, yes."  
"Will this gain me acceptance as a human?"  
"If you carry them out, I don't see why not. Do you want to be accepted?"  
Illyria looked out at the road we came from. It was a clear night, and being this far out from the city, you could see more stars than usual. The moon was the centre piece of the art though, huge and round, it's craters shown clearly in it's dark backdrop.  
"When I was in full power, my only worry was what I may do to satisfy myself. How I would conquer the hunger of the mundane that so often descended upon me.  
"Now I am stripped of those powers and I must satisfy myself with the company of mortals and half-breeds. Even the half-breeds wish for their hearts to beat once more. So I must now instead satisfy my curiosity and study the humans. All humans want - all that they strive for in their existence - is to be accepted. My answer to your question is yes- I wish to be accepted. Is that not true of all humans?"  
Walking towards the house, Illyria finished her monologue and threw open the door. Well...she is a dark horse, isn't she? Her want to become acceptable made this all the easier for us - but when she's in front of everyone she plays the high and mighty card. This raised the question of why. And possibly who for. It was obvious, in some weird way, she was closer Wesley than the rest of us. Maybe except her 'pet' (even though he's my pet), although that was in terms of violence. Maybe with Fred's memories trapped in her, she's confused. Fred talked to me in confidence, just as I did to her - and Illyria was repeating that pattern. It could just be a coincidence - but were signs of Fred breaking through Illyria?  
Deciding to discuss this later with Spike, I followed Illyria inside, leaving the door open and bringing my gun up into my eye sight like Spike taught me.  
There were no signs of life in the first room, a dark dusty and rather empty living room. There was a small busted up couch and bookshelves everywhere - only very few of them held books. It was more like snips and snails and puppy dog tails. The thick smell of damp dust hung in the air, as did the putrid scent of B.O. Following the sounds of voices, I manoeuvred myself around the broken table and curled up rug to go down the set of stairs.  
Nina was howling, light brown fur covering what used o be her white skin. She strained against her metal restraining clasps that held her fast to the table. Angel headed the gang in the opposite corner, trying to convince the small, pale man that stood above Nina to stop.  
He was a scrawny, glassed guy. A small crown of hair fluffed around his temple and a few wispy strands were used to comb over his bald patch. His appearance had no immediate interest, except that people may think he was unfortunately ugly looking. However, the fact that he had a syringe in his right hand that was a centimetre from Nina's arm and a set of keys that I'm sure would let Nina loose his left. Only, this was remote control key. One push of the button, and he'd let Nina loose to eat us. Both weren't good ideas.  
"We know you're trying to betray Wolfram and Hart. And we can understand what type of trouble that puts you in. But you have to understand," Angel tried to reason, his voice taking a calm, authoritative tone, "we can help you. If you want it - we'll help. But you need to put that stuff away and back off from Nina."  
A deep growl came from Nina as she struggled harder with her shackles and the table creaked more, groaning at her attempts to destruct it.  
I could shoot the guy. That would stop him from doing anything bad to Nina, and stop his rant on how he knows we're the bad guys. Most importantly though, it would work. All I needed to do was creep down the stairs. Stay in the shadows. Take aim. Wait for the opportune moment. And down he goes.  
Visualising my hero worship, I started my painfully slow descent. Hey - I only had one chance to make this work, and I wanted it to be right!  
"We are also against Wolfram and Hart. Spies, if you will," Wesley assured him, "I was once a watcher too-"  
"You were sent out for the slayer. They fired you."  
Well...that was news to me!  
Glancing up as I made a small creak, Angel and Spike looked at each other and made a small nodding movement. They knew their job - keep the guy talking long enough for me to take a confident aim.  
"They you would also know of my revolt against the Council's system. Why didn't they allow us to gain the ultimate knowledge of our enemies? Wouldn't this put us at an advantage?" Wesley must have super hearing to - he was amazing.  
Miller nodded, eyes widened, "If we know everything about them-"  
"Then it would make slaying an easier task."  
"But those fools never understood it's potential. We were well aware of the Initiative - and it drew no interest for us. Making demons into...killing machines. No. It was in fact, our enemy. This research could have lead to us winning the battle of god and evil! Inside intelligence indeed!"  
My gun was raised, targeted directly at his neck.  
"Those imbeciles and their old fashioned means! If they were only open minded, then they could realise our full potential! Ridding the world of all evil! For -"  
A large snapping sound. And the doctor was down.  
I dropped my gun in shock, still filled with the dart.  
Nina rose from Miller's body, saturated with blood. She looked straight at me. And lunged.  
I stood stock still, unsure on wither to run or pick up the gun. Which would mean life and death? Which would keep me alive longer?  
She turned and looked behind her, drawing her claw back and bringing it down on whoever it was trying to defend me, sending them to the floor, a bloody gash on their torso. A bloody gash on Spike's torso.  
About to finish her task on my boyfriend, Nina growled, straddling him before he could get up. Her mouth agape, she was prepared to tear him to shreds.  
So I acted fast. Taking the gun, I aimed it at anything that looked remotely furry and short.  
Silence rang through out the air. Angel had sprung into action since Nina was free, as did Wesley and Gunn, but it had all happened to fast. Any move could have resulted with me darting them or Nina choosing them as their next target. Angel had now resorted to picking up the now limp Nina and taking her up the stairs with Gunn and Wesley's help. Illyria hung back, merely a spectator to all that happened. And Spike had sat up, rubbing his chest and looking rather pissed off.  
Scrambling, I got beside him, "Oh my God-"  
"It's nothing," he shrugged, getting up, "Just a few scratches."  
Still sitting on the floor, I looked up at him. My hero and saviour extraordinaire, "You...you did that for me. She could've killed you."  
"And you saved me in return. Pretty handy with that gun, love," Spike smiled, pulling me up beside him, "Guess we're each others hero."  
"She could've killed you. You could've died. You were prepared to die for me!"  
He nodded, looking a little worried, "I would've done it any day, love. You alright? You look like your in shock. Maybe me should-"  
I kissed him, pressing my lips hard against his. A gesture that was all too happily returned.  
"So. This is love. The preparedness to know that one will seize their existence for one another. A most honourable decision for such a foolish notion. Yet...it compels me. We shall discuss this more, human. When we are at your shelter. We shall indulge in intercourse then," Illyria briskly walked off.  
"W-what?!"  
"She means talking, love. Although...she once asked if she could watch us in the act," running a down my arm, he took my hand, "You up for it?"


	21. Another One Always Comes Along

**AN:** When I read over Edging Back In from the start, I realised I made a few mistakes. Like - naming Maddy 'Caddi' at one point. However, I did make one huger mistake than this. I nearly broke a promise! The poem included in this epilogue is by one of my closest friends, someone who pushed me without shame to finish this for you guys. Thanks, love! I owe you a magillion!

**Another one always comes along.**

* * *

I tapped my fingers eagerly on my desk. I was bored. There was no other way to go about it. Illyria was off, testing her human skills on the employees, much to their displeasure. Angel was off dealing with some people with Gunn and Wesley. Lorne was in a meeting with another of his celebrities. Spike was sleeping off the patrol from last night. So what was left for lil' old me? Ever since solving the Nina situation, everything seemed to be less exciting. As weird as it sounds, I missed the excitement. The suspense. The thought of waking up and having to solve another case.  
"Another one always comes along," Spike mumbled sleepily when I told him how I felt one night, "If it's not something like this, it's someone trying to end the world. Need to rest up for the next one, love. Can you stop stealing the covers?!"  
So it was only a matter of time. Not that I would be of any help. I couldn't fight. The shot was one of luck. Wesley knows more demonic languages then me. I was more of a liability if anything during Nina's rescue. But it was still amazing to be involved.  
5 PM would be home time. I'll walk home, see Laney's first scan, be with Spike for a few hours before he disappears to annoy Angel, have a nice, long bath and probably go to bed. But as it's only 2:30, nothing of any general importance would come up before then.  
Deciding to take advantage of the free phone calls, I grabbed the phone on my desk and keyed in the number, praying he picked up.  
"Hello?"  
I smiled. I loved how hearing his voice makes me smile, "Hey. It's your favourite daughter."  
"Naw.....that does nay sound like Laney!"  
"It's ok dad," I laughed, swinging around in my seat, "I know I'm your favourite. You just have to say that to Laney 'cause she's the youngest."  
"Well...if that's what you want to think, doll, I'll leave you to it. How's work? Shouldn't you-"  
"I'm here right now. It's pretty quiet. Thought I'd check up and see how you're doing. It's been too long since I last saw you."  
"Aw. So you're that long lost daughter of mine, eh?," He chuckled softly, "I'm awright, darlin'. Just watching a wee bit TV. 'Rest and Relaxation'. Doctor's orders. So I canny complain with that! What I can complain about, is the 'no fags or drams' rules."  
"'Cigarettes or drams'. Even I coulda told you that dad," I sighed, fiddling around with my desk tidy, "Doesn't take a genius."  
"But none at all! What about at Christmas? Or New Years? Or when Laney has her wee laddy? Celebratory cigars!"  
I laughed a little, "Non-alcoholic drinks work too. And I'm pretty sure you're not allowed to do that in hospitals. Even if Laney does have a little girl."  
"Can you no hear me right, doll? Damn connection -, "He shouted down the line, the smile evident in his voice, "I said 'wee laddy'!"  
I laughed, "You're just desperate for grandson!"  
"Well Graham managed to disappoint! Maybe Laney can do better."  
"Hey! Ingrid's cute! It's not her fault she's a girl!"  
"I'm no saying it's her fault! It's her dad's!"  
"In a way....yes. But over all - no! Can we not talk about this!"  
"Awright...so. How's that boyfriend of yours doing? He not a pile of dust yet?"  
I scoffed slightly, "I don't know why you're so hung up on the 'vampire' bit of it dad! You're ok with me working for one, but not dating one?"  
"That 'Angel' guy has a soul."  
"Well so does Spike."  
"His name is Spike?!" my dad asked incredulously, "Is that why you never told me it! For God's sake Mad-"  
"It's a nickname! His real name's William-"  
"How'd he get that nickname?! In fact - I dinny even wanna ken!"  
I laughed slightly, "He's a nice guy. Like I said, he has a soul too! And he's British too!"  
I could hear the doubt in his voice, "Scottish. I'm Scottish. So he isn't from Scotland then. Ireland or Wales?"  
I winced a little.  
"No. No! You never!"  
"He's not like the rest of-"  
"He's English?!"  
"Oh come on, dad! That war was so long ago-"  
"You tell that to my family! They still want independence!"  
"I really like him dad! Please? Just...I'll bring him over for Thanksgiving! And...it'll be great-"  
"Wait. Thanksgiving? Are you sure?"  
He was right to not be sure about this. I hated my dad's new wife.  
33 years ago, dad moved over from Scotland to fulfil his dream of becoming a script writer for Broadway. Apparently, he'd been wanting this ever since he saw a pantomime of 'Jack and The Beanstalk' when he just 'a wee lad'. Having being rejected for his first script, he found his solace in bottle of vodka and the arms of a woman who we later found out was my mother. According to him, it was love at first sight and she look 'better than a 12 year auld scotch'. Getting married in his first year of being in New York and having Graham the following year, dad put his dream on hold, deciding to instead take a career in law - something my grandfather forced him to do to carry on a family tradition before allowing him to do what he really wanted. So for 26 years, dad continued to do his husbandly duties, keeping his real dream on the back burner. That was until someone turned the heat up, and the pot started to boil over.  
I'd made my move to L.A by then, starting my career in being a tag-along translator for tourists. I was in my dump of an apartment when I got Laney's teary call. Dad was cheating on mom. There was going to be a divorce. He's moving to L.A. He's getting married in Fall.  
Daisy, a woman 12 years dad's junior, was a blonde headed actress. Meeting my dad during a court hearing on her then boyfriend's tax evasion, they preferred to discuss his scripts rather than trying to get this guy off the hook. Needless to say, the guy got two years imprisonment for tax evasion and my dad got himself a mistress who encouraged him to carry on him script writing.  
"I'm sure. I'll just....I'll behave."  
"Hm....well...if you're sure, love. Make sure he knows that Daisy has no idea-"  
"About vampires. I'll tell him. Don't worry."  
Kathy, my new assistant, popped her head around the door, gesturing that someone was waiting for me outside. Giving her a court nod, I finished up my conversation with my dad, following her out to see Nina waiting outside.  
Having confessed to taking what she thought was wolf's bane, Nina had apologised to us all, explaining to me the meaning of her attacks. Apparently, she had a huge crush on Angel, and with the poisoned potion making her more possessive, seeing me talking to Angel pushed her off the rails. So, what else could I do except accept her apology and try to push those too crazy kids together? Angel's curse may stop him from getting any closer than he wants, but with the pressure of the job always in the back of his mind and Cordelia death still looming over him, I doubted any bliss would be coming his way.  
"Hey Maddy."  
"Nina. How did it go? What did he say?!" I asked, rather excited. Having a small pep talk with her yesterday, I was finally able to convince her to ask Angel out for a coffee.  
"Well.....we went to a little cafe!"  
"That same night?" I asked, amazed.  
Beaming proudly, Nina nodded, "Mmhm!"  
"I want to know all about it- wait. Kathy, Nina. Kathy's my new...friend."  
Kathy stopped typing, looking up at me and Nina, a little red, "I-I am?"  
I nodded, smiling, "Yeah. You just happen to be my assistant when we became friends," I shrugged, "It's no big deal. Nina, if Kathy were to tell us the news on her and a certain Special Op, would you be willing to have her chat with us?"  
Nina smiled, "I don't see why not. Is it Mike?"  
Kathy blushed as I nodded, "I know! He's delicious, right?!" I grabbed Kathy up and ushered the girls into my office.

* * *

I was in a good mood when I got home that day, hearing that Nina gave Angel a peck on the cheek and Kathy and Mike seemed to be going well. Being a veteran couple now, me and Spike seemed to be a pretty good force at pushing together people. Even though I had to convince Spike into getting Mike to ask Kathy out.  
Closing the door, I kicked my shoes off, picking up Fido, who'd gotten used to Spike being around now. Another thing that Nina's rescue did for us was help us to make the decision of living arrangements. After the rescue and a few rather long talks, we thought that for the sake of safety, money, the relationship and just because we both wanted it, it would be best for Spike to move in with me. Having him finally settled in, it was great to go home and curl up on the couch with him for a while, watching TV, having dinner and talking about our day.  
"I'm home, Boo!" I called, wandering through to the bedroom where Spike was putting away some clothes. I smiled, "You done the laundry?"  
He shrugged slightly, "Well...I had nothing to do. So I might as well've done something useful. Earn me points in bed tonight?"  
I smiled a little, helping him fold things away, "Hell yeah. How was your day?"  
Hanging his shirts up, Spike shrugged, "Slept. Watched TV. Nothing really much to tell, love. Yours?"  
"Nina's seeing Angel and Kath and Mike's relationship's going well. So we did a good job there. Spreading a little more love in the world," I smiled more, putting away the towels in my en-suite, "Illyria was talking to Harm when I last saw her. Didn't hear 'disembowelled' once. Oh - and I called my dad. We're going down there for Thanksgiving. Daisy doesn't know anything about vampires so we have be careful around Daisy."  
"She that much of a bitch you have to say her name like that every time you hear it?" Spike frowned, opening my underwear drawer and giving a low whistle, "Well...you never wear any of this for me...."  
I rolled my eyes, ignoring his last comment, "She broke up my family. Enough said."  
"But she does make your dad happy. If your parents are both happier apart, or with other people, isn't it worth it?"  
I sighed, knowing he was right. I hated it when Spike was right - it generally meant that somewhere, deep down, it was something I felt and wasn't ready to admit it. Maybe I didn't think she was all that bad. But mom was broken when dad left her for Daisy. Some part of me wanted to blame someone. And because I love dad, Daisy seemed like the obvious target. So here I was, placing the blame on Daisy, the women who kept a smile on my father's face.  
"What's this?" Spike asked as I didn't reply. He held a piece of paper in his hand.  
I shrugged, getting up to put the rest of the stuff away, "I don't know."  
Opening the paper, Spike was silent for a moment before he started reading aloud, "Games of lust and Poker."  
My eyes widened. During my brief period of depression when me and Spike broke up, I had taken to writing poetry. I always thought it was never good, but I'd won poet of the year 2 years running in high-school. So I couldn't be that bad. But that poem held what I thought at a moment where I thought I hated Spike. And him reading whatever I wrote might jeopardise what we have.  
"NO!" I shouted, jumping over the bed to stop him.  
Turning his back to me, I realised it was too late. He continued reading.

"To an extent ,we may have had potential bond energy.  
I'd rather consider it as forces of hazardous chemistry.  
Knowing that nothing I confess will make you regret  
Departing, makes our encounter one I'd rather forget.

A hypnotist : you had me so oblivious to your charm  
despite repeated warnings that you'd cause me harm  
Along with my clothes, you stripped off my defence  
cunningly swaying me to the risky side of the fence.

I trusted you and foolishly, I even revealed my hand:  
a mistake that cost me all my chips, as I understand.  
Blindly, I didn't see that I was dealt a wildcard, a Joker  
but who ever sees clearly in games of lust and Poker?"

He looked confused, his eyebrows knotted together slightly.  
"I...can explain," I murmured into the bed covers.  
"It's....good."  
I looked up, frowning, "What?!"  
Sitting down beside me, Spike nodded, re-reading over it, "I said it's good. I know it was about me," he shrugged a little, "It's just how you felt. Can't change that. This is good though. Very good."  
I smiled a little, looking up at him, "You think? I mean...your input has value to me. Being Mr William-the-Bloody and all."  
Putting the poem aside, Spike stood up, "I'll 'bloody' you the now!"  
I giggled, getting up to run through, to the living-room, Spike chasing after me.  
I was in a dead end. There would be nowhere to go if I went into the kitchen. And if I turned back from the living-room, then Spike would catch me. Either way, I was going down.  
Turning the corner, Spike smirked, grabbing me towards him, "Got you now."  
I giggled more, looking up at him, "Shouldn't you be going to work?"  
"Still too sunny..." his face lowering towards mine, he closed the curtains on the starry night.


End file.
